You're absolutely right about the dichotomy with respect to perception. In my original comment, I was going to post "perception is reality" because perception,

You're absolutely right about the dichotomy with respect to perception. In my original comment, I was going to post "perception is reality" because perception, default thinking, and other heuristics underpin so much of what constitutes discrimination. This is, of course, absolutely unfair, but most of us at least have a chance to shape how others perceive us. In the end, it's surprising how much the "little, superficial" things matter in that respect.