I'm not sure why you think pypy is slower than cpython "at pretty much everything" after looking at this site. Out of the 21 benchmarks given, 10 are 2x or more

I'm not sure why you think pypy is slower than cpython "at pretty much everything" after looking at this site. Out of the 21 benchmarks given, 10 are 2x or more faster than cpython, 10 are between 2x faster and 2x slower and only 1 is more than 2x slower.