6 ms·
Wow, this is a trip: Toss your wiping materials down the toilet. (If you're on an airplane, don't toss anything down the toilet as it goes to a holding tank wh
by andrewvc 17y ago
Wow, this is a trip:
Toss your wiping materials down the toilet. (If you're on an airplane, don't toss anything down the toilet as it goes to a holding tank which can be raked for evidence later. Carry-out your wiping papers with you inside your shirt under an armpit and flush them in a normal toilet when you can. (Note: Visible bulges under your shirt will be considered by flight attending employees to be indicating the real possibility that you're smuggling drugs. If you must hide a lot of wipe materials, you should distribute them among your body to eliminate bulges, otherwise you may be escorted to a little white room and made to strip. When they find you're hiding damp paper towels, you'll have some explaining to do.)
- phil_collins 17y agoWon't you be drawing a lot of attention to yourself if you smell like shit? I think the best thing to do would be to eat those wiping materials.
- jcl 17y agoI liked the part telling you that satellites can record your conversations from space by bouncing lasers off of your windows. And the part advising you to bring along any police dogs you might happen to kill, to keep from leaving evidence. And the part that gives "assistant to elderly Navajos" as a top employment opportunity. Wonderfully imaginative, if nothing else.
- barrkel 17y agoAFAIK, sound can be recorded using laser reflections on windows, but not I imagine from space, where there would be too much atmospheric interference. I also imagine that single glazing would help.
- ErrantX 17y agoEven more important; the speed of the things :) This is why much of the satellite "intel" you see in films is pretty bunk.
- jcl 17y agoNot only that, but there needs to be some way to detect the bounced beam -- implying a ridiculous degree of accuracy in the placement of the satellite, the smoothness of the glass, and the strength of the laser. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laser_microphone http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laser_microphone
- ryanelkins 17y agoYes, you're told to kill unescorted police dogs, not by strangling them, as that would take too much strength, but by lifting them off the ground and shaking them until their neck breaks. I look over at the 85lb American Bulldog next to me and can't conceive of many people being able to pull that one off. (The preferable way, of course, being to drive a knife through the dog's braincase. (wtf?))
- towndrunk 17y agoSmelling like shit isn't going to turn any heads? No one will notice that.
- pyre 17y agoI think they were talking about the papertowels that you use to wipe off fingerprints/hairs/etc from the bathroom. There's no point in trying to hide your crap-covered toilet paper, because you've already dumped your actual crap into the toilet. In general though, no one is going to be sifting through airplane toilets looking for your DNA. The only thing that you might be protecting yourself against is if 'they' are looking for someone else by sifting through the toilet contents, and happen to match your DNA against something they have on file somewhere.