I don't think I can even remotely understand what this feels like. Worst thing I've done in my time over here was handling hand grenades (just as 13of40) and th

I don't think I can even remotely understand what this feels like. Worst thing I've done in my time over here was handling hand grenades (just as 13of40) and throwing/detonating a live one was the closest I got to 'hide behind shelter and feel a big boom' - and already far too scary on my personal scale of things Not To Do Again™.