First, to be blunt: you should have asked for a definition of toxicity when you were presented with this criticism. Barring that, you should ask for one now. Yo

First, to be blunt: you should have asked for a definition of toxicity when you were presented with this criticism. Barring that, you should ask for one now. You should ask the person delivering the criticism if they have suggestions for how to improve. Take their suggestions to heart, and amplify them with your own. Don't nitpick the suggestions. Don't try to show that they are impossible, or inconsistent, or hypocritical. Interpret them in a light that makes them make sense, to you, then act upon them to the best of your ability. The pattern "in my review I was called X, but I don't know what X means" suggests an adversarial relationship with your manager. The pattern of appealing to others outside of your conflict, rather than trying to understand the perspective of the people you are in confict with by talking to them (and listening) might be "toxic". As highly generic starting points, I would suggest: 1. Focus on speaking more precisely, using factual rather than evaluative language. Evaluative language ("stupid", "cool", "boring", etc.) rarely serves a constructive function. 2. When faced with a problem, fix it, delegate it, or backlog it. Don't complain about it. 3. If you are blocked by other parties, establish a clear timeline with those parties for getting unblocked. If you don't have the seniority to do that, establish a clear timeline with someone who does for getting you unblocked. These are things that have helped me, anyway. I still think I'm too much of an asshole, though. Good luck!