Often what is perceived as "toxic" is actually invalidating - ignorant or instinctive 180 degrees wrong (twisted) signals to the communication counterpart. Mild

Often what is perceived as "toxic" is actually invalidating - ignorant or instinctive 180 degrees wrong (twisted) signals to the communication counterpart. Mild invalidation can cause irritation but stronger or persistent can drive a usually balanced person to rage. "Toxic" persons often lack either awareness of the emotional state of the person they address or just tend to do it wrong. It is not easy to change this habit/ingrained behavior but it is generally possible with focus, persistence and proper feedback. (Recommended reading: "The high conflict couple") "Toxic" persons are often surrounded by conflict. A big part of getting out of this are establishing proper boundaries - knowing which gauntlets not to pick up even when they land at our feet. Learning where and how to stop an escalating conflict. Establishing a solid framework which conflicts to engage or not is a huge energy saver. Saved energy that can be deployed to win where it matters building a track record of success. Self care and balance are critical. The less stressed we are the more is our brain able to work rationally. There is a targeted school of cognitive therapy that combines maintaining a level of Zen in spite of real or perceived adversity and becoming more effective in communicating needs. Google Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) which was specifically designed to deal with poster child type toxic behavior. Incidentally a lot of what is there you find in some form in personal effectiveness and management training. You may benefit of studying could be there for you to take or consult a therapist to guide you. This would not be about the couch but about skill building.