4 ms·

Hey, some hopefully constructive feedback here: This sentence "It's like driving a Ferrari in LA traffic" is kind of a red flag. Think about how the people aro

Hey, some hopefully constructive feedback here: This sentence "It's like driving a Ferrari in LA traffic" is kind of a red flag. Think about how the people around you would feel about this comparison. It's pretty insulting, right? If you carry around the attitude that you're put upon dealing with other people's incompetence, they're going to notice and take it badly. Younger me would see my comment and say "so what? they're incompetent!" This is the wrong emotional reaction. It doesn't matter if they're incompetent. Telling them they're incompetent will harm your relationship with them, and worsen your LA traffic gridlock. There's almost always a way to be direct, correct and also kind. If you can't figure one out, then talk to someone. "Hey, I'm a little irritated about xyz situation, but I don't want to handle it badly. Do you have any suggestions for how I can constructively engage, or do you think I should just let it go?" Many people can't help, but some people have great emotional intelligence and can help crack those things open. I'm not particularly good at it, but man, the difference between trying and not trying is night and day.

dijit 10y ago
Thank you for the feedback! :) I understand what you mean. May I ask though, how can I convey my frustration to anyone? and how to I avoid becoming jaded and apathetic to my goals?
- bjshepard 10y ago
  Re: conveying frustration: Ask questions -- once you try to understand a situation, the frustration will recede, at least partially.
- rincebrain 10y ago
  My imperfect understanding would be that, at best, you could convey your frustration to someone well removed from your work environment. Frustration is rarely a constructive thing to convey. It may seem okay at times, but even if it's objectively justifiable, it's going to leave an impression on people. Too many of those, and everything you say is viewed through that lens.
- gorbachev 10y ago
  Your boss. He should be the primary person responsible for making sure your organization minimizes the disruptions to your work. He may or may not be in a position to personally solve any issues, but at least you have now shared concerns about your work environment with someone "up the chain". That person could also be a project manager or any other person who is ultimately responsible for deliverables. It IS their job to make sure you deliver. If you are getting constantly blocked for external reasons, they should know and work towards fixing those issues. I'm in the exact same boat, btw. Good luck.
- whamlastxmas 10y ago
  >how can I convey my frustration to anyone You don't. If something is impeding you, calmly tell someone who can help that you're having trouble doing something because of XYZ. Don't be negative or pessimistic or blame anyone. The problem is if you're always frustrated, everyone is going to view you as an angry asshole. I am constantly frustrated but I gave up doing anything about it when it's out of my control. I just move on.
  - kqr 10y ago
    > You don't. If something is impeding you, calmly tell someone who can help that you're having trouble doing something because of XYZ. Or, even better, ask what you can do to help with getting XYZ done.
- toomuchtodo 10y ago
  > May I ask though, how can I convey my frustration to anyone? and how to I avoid becoming jaded and apathetic to my goals? Spend time cultivating empathy and patience.
  - cesarbs 10y ago
    A million times this answer. We're in need of a good dose of that in engineering organizations.
- smilingtom 10y ago
  Realize that the only person in the world who cares about your frustrations is you. If you can't handle your shit, people won't want to be around you. You need to make it your personal responsibility to be a good team player. It should help you to realize that all of your amazing skills and talent aren't worth anything if no one can stand being around you.
  - meric 10y ago
    Everyone has their own specific set of strengths and weaknesses. It's toxic to compare people's weaknesses to your own strengths, or to compare your own weaknesses with other's strengths. Enjoy connecting to people and making banter. Stop trying to get "somewhere". Don't even try to push for the project to finish earlier. It finishes when it finishes. The quality it's done at is the quality it's going to be. Do what you're going to do then step back. Focus on the present, and enjoy it because it is everything you have. The only "somewhere" everyone ever gets to is death. What's more important, your joy in the present, or some illusion of the future? Choices are illusory. Our lives are not ours to control. We can follow the flow of life's river and enjoy the sights life offers, or push against the current, and encounter resistance, spending all our time bucketing water out of our boats. The only choice we have is between focusing on reality of the present, the small boons we experience every day, a smile, an eye contact, a joke, listening to a story, and focusing on the illusions of the future, finding weaknesses in yourself or others through comparison, fighting against the current of life. Who are you in this moment?
    - 9935c101ab17a66 10y ago
      Your post is riddled with feel-good platitudes and specious mantras. I definitely think most people (myself included) could benefit from slowing down and focusing on the present, but it's folly to say 'Choices are illusory. Our lives are not ours to control.' and 'It finishes when it finishes. The quality it's done at is the quality it's going to be.'
    - czep 10y ago
      Brilliant analysis. This is wisdom for the ages, thank you.

dijit 10y ago

Thank you for the feedback! :) I understand what you mean. May I ask though, how can I convey my frustration to anyone? and how to I avoid becoming jaded and apathetic to my goals?

bjshepard 10y ago
Re: conveying frustration: Ask questions -- once you try to understand a situation, the frustration will recede, at least partially.
rincebrain 10y ago
My imperfect understanding would be that, at best, you could convey your frustration to someone well removed from your work environment. Frustration is rarely a constructive thing to convey. It may seem okay at times, but even if it's objectively justifiable, it's going to leave an impression on people. Too many of those, and everything you say is viewed through that lens.
gorbachev 10y ago
Your boss. He should be the primary person responsible for making sure your organization minimizes the disruptions to your work. He may or may not be in a position to personally solve any issues, but at least you have now shared concerns about your work environment with someone "up the chain". That person could also be a project manager or any other person who is ultimately responsible for deliverables. It IS their job to make sure you deliver. If you are getting constantly blocked for external reasons, they should know and work towards fixing those issues. I'm in the exact same boat, btw. Good luck.
whamlastxmas 10y ago
>how can I convey my frustration to anyone You don't. If something is impeding you, calmly tell someone who can help that you're having trouble doing something because of XYZ. Don't be negative or pessimistic or blame anyone. The problem is if you're always frustrated, everyone is going to view you as an angry asshole. I am constantly frustrated but I gave up doing anything about it when it's out of my control. I just move on.
- kqr 10y ago
  > You don't. If something is impeding you, calmly tell someone who can help that you're having trouble doing something because of XYZ. Or, even better, ask what you can do to help with getting XYZ done.
toomuchtodo 10y ago
> May I ask though, how can I convey my frustration to anyone? and how to I avoid becoming jaded and apathetic to my goals? Spend time cultivating empathy and patience.
- cesarbs 10y ago
  A million times this answer. We're in need of a good dose of that in engineering organizations.
smilingtom 10y ago
Realize that the only person in the world who cares about your frustrations is you. If you can't handle your shit, people won't want to be around you. You need to make it your personal responsibility to be a good team player. It should help you to realize that all of your amazing skills and talent aren't worth anything if no one can stand being around you.
- meric 10y ago
  Everyone has their own specific set of strengths and weaknesses. It's toxic to compare people's weaknesses to your own strengths, or to compare your own weaknesses with other's strengths. Enjoy connecting to people and making banter. Stop trying to get "somewhere". Don't even try to push for the project to finish earlier. It finishes when it finishes. The quality it's done at is the quality it's going to be. Do what you're going to do then step back. Focus on the present, and enjoy it because it is everything you have. The only "somewhere" everyone ever gets to is death. What's more important, your joy in the present, or some illusion of the future? Choices are illusory. Our lives are not ours to control. We can follow the flow of life's river and enjoy the sights life offers, or push against the current, and encounter resistance, spending all our time bucketing water out of our boats. The only choice we have is between focusing on reality of the present, the small boons we experience every day, a smile, an eye contact, a joke, listening to a story, and focusing on the illusions of the future, finding weaknesses in yourself or others through comparison, fighting against the current of life. Who are you in this moment?
  - 9935c101ab17a66 10y ago
    Your post is riddled with feel-good platitudes and specious mantras. I definitely think most people (myself included) could benefit from slowing down and focusing on the present, but it's folly to say 'Choices are illusory. Our lives are not ours to control.' and 'It finishes when it finishes. The quality it's done at is the quality it's going to be.'
  - czep 10y ago
    Brilliant analysis. This is wisdom for the ages, thank you.