4 ms·

This is actually one of the symptoms of anxiety -- it makes you over-estimate the consequences of stopping. You need to choose to take time, push through the i

This is actually one of the symptoms of anxiety -- it makes you over-estimate the consequences of stopping. You need to choose to take time, push through the initial panic rush that will come from it, then come out the other side.

adamnemecek 10y ago
Can you talk more about this? Do you have any resources on dealing with this? OPs description hits a bit too close to home.
- dccooper 10y ago
  One of the most common frameworks to thinking about anxiety is CBT (Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy). Basically there are both things that you’re doing and things that you’re thinking that trap you in a cycle of anxiety. The symptom tsunamifury talked about is what we call Catastrophizing – that is you over-estimate / over-value negative consequences over positive or neutral ones. It’s not just “If I stop working or slow down, I might not make as much money,” it is instead, “If I even take time to slow down, all my peers will be better than me or I might miss that one opportunity that’s going to make or break my career and then my professional life will be over and I might as well spend my time making software for businesses in the middle of Oklahoma.” What I’d try and get patients to do is to rationally evaluate the evidence that any or all of these might happen. Is one missed connection really going to make or break your career? Is one failed pitch? Do you know of any founders/devs who failed big and recovered? What makes you think you couldn’t do the same. If you want to know more, here are some good places to start – mix of websites and articles. (Apologies in advance for the potato quality on some of these links – I’m slowly dragging my field into the 21st century.) I’d also recommend going to see a therapist – even if it’s just for a few sessions. It might be helpful to get an outside viewpoint on your current situation. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201212/cognitive-behavioral-skills-youll-need-beat-anxiety https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201212/cogn... http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/step1.htm http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/step1.htm http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3263389/ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3263389/ http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/anxiety-treatment.aspx http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/anxiety-treatment.aspx (Source: Me, I'm a psychologist who's done therapy with clients and now makes mobile apps. I tried to make this as HN-oriented as possible)
  - adamnemecek 10y ago
    Thanks! Should I look for a particular type of therapist?
    - spangry 10y ago
      I'm not a medical professional but a fellow sufferer, so you should probably take this all with a grain of salt. It's more than likely you'll see a psychologist who will administer cognitive behavioural therapy; essentially the rational examination of your thinking as described above. Although specific treatment modalities somewhat depend on the nature and severity of your anxiety disorder. If your anxiety is more 'phobic' in nature (i.e. it spikes when you're exposed to specific stimuli) , a therapist might inter-weave elements of 'gradual exposure therapy' in as well. For instance, if you have severe arachnophobia, you might start off standing on the other side of the room to a large spider in a glass cage. Then you might stand half-way across the room. Then next to the glass. Then touching the glass etc. But CBT is the workhorse of modern psychotherapy, and can be quite effective for anxiety suffers.I'd also suggest steering well clear of any therapists that use psychoanalysis/psychoanalytic theory in their practice. It's arguably a non-falsifiable pseudo-science. Unless your anxiety is so acute that you can't function on any normal level (like the time I didn't leave my house for about 2-3 weeks), I'd hold off on medication and try your non-chemical options first. To be clear, I'm not one of those people who thinks that 'unnatural drugs are bad maaannnnn', and have in fact been prescribed (and taken) meds at various times. In certain circumstances, for certain people, they are the only option and they can be a god send for some. But in my experience the pharmacological options for anxiety are are pretty poor. There are really only two mainstream choices: anti-depressants like SSRIs/SNRIs, which are rarely effective for anxiety and take 6-8 weeks to have any effect. So you end up on a very long-term course of trial and error. The other pharmacological option has traditionally been benzodiazapines (valium, kloponin etc.). Again, unless your illness is extremely acute, I very strongly urge you to never go down this path. They're very physically and psychologically addictive in the medium to long-term (sudden withdrawal can even result in in grand-mal seizures), and you will experience 'rebound' anxiety when you stop taking them. Lastly, although not a cure, a few lifestyle changes can vastly improve your quality of life while you're seeking out profession treatment. The big three are exercise, regular sleep and mindfulness meditation. It's difficult to start at first, but if you can make even 1 or 2 or those a regular habit you will see an improvement in your life. Anyhow, I really wish you all the best. Anxiety sucks, but fortunately there's a growing number of ways to make it suck less.
- tsunamifury 10y ago
  First, anxietycoach.com helps with the day to day problems if you are suffering from irrational fears and/or panic attacks. This is a common symptom of overwork/anxiety and you can totally overcome it. Its mostly about working on some better habits that are very simple. Beyond that, I know that for myself, anxiety keeps me from taking a real actual measure of my resources (costs, burn rate, etc) because as I get more anxious I just fill those data points in with a vague thought that its doomed. When I sit down, take an real mathematical measure of the situation, I am able to overcome the internal misconceptions that "i can never stop" or "I'll never escape this." To put this in perspective, I live in the SFBay where the financial spiral here is terrible. That being said, taking the measure of reality, helps me accept what I can and can't do. Once that is defined, I find myself feeling a lot more confidence in handling even the most dire situation -- because at least I have formed a rational plan.
  - adamnemecek 10y ago
    Thanks!

adamnemecek 10y ago

Can you talk more about this? Do you have any resources on dealing with this? OPs description hits a bit too close to home.

dccooper 10y ago
One of the most common frameworks to thinking about anxiety is CBT (Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy). Basically there are both things that you’re doing and things that you’re thinking that trap you in a cycle of anxiety. The symptom tsunamifury talked about is what we call Catastrophizing – that is you over-estimate / over-value negative consequences over positive or neutral ones. It’s not just “If I stop working or slow down, I might not make as much money,” it is instead, “If I even take time to slow down, all my peers will be better than me or I might miss that one opportunity that’s going to make or break my career and then my professional life will be over and I might as well spend my time making software for businesses in the middle of Oklahoma.” What I’d try and get patients to do is to rationally evaluate the evidence that any or all of these might happen. Is one missed connection really going to make or break your career? Is one failed pitch? Do you know of any founders/devs who failed big and recovered? What makes you think you couldn’t do the same. If you want to know more, here are some good places to start – mix of websites and articles. (Apologies in advance for the potato quality on some of these links – I’m slowly dragging my field into the 21st century.) I’d also recommend going to see a therapist – even if it’s just for a few sessions. It might be helpful to get an outside viewpoint on your current situation. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201212/cognitive-behavioral-skills-youll-need-beat-anxiety https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201212/cogn... http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/step1.htm http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/step1.htm http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3263389/ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3263389/ http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/anxiety-treatment.aspx http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/anxiety-treatment.aspx (Source: Me, I'm a psychologist who's done therapy with clients and now makes mobile apps. I tried to make this as HN-oriented as possible)
- adamnemecek 10y ago
  Thanks! Should I look for a particular type of therapist?
  - spangry 10y ago
    I'm not a medical professional but a fellow sufferer, so you should probably take this all with a grain of salt. It's more than likely you'll see a psychologist who will administer cognitive behavioural therapy; essentially the rational examination of your thinking as described above. Although specific treatment modalities somewhat depend on the nature and severity of your anxiety disorder. If your anxiety is more 'phobic' in nature (i.e. it spikes when you're exposed to specific stimuli) , a therapist might inter-weave elements of 'gradual exposure therapy' in as well. For instance, if you have severe arachnophobia, you might start off standing on the other side of the room to a large spider in a glass cage. Then you might stand half-way across the room. Then next to the glass. Then touching the glass etc. But CBT is the workhorse of modern psychotherapy, and can be quite effective for anxiety suffers.I'd also suggest steering well clear of any therapists that use psychoanalysis/psychoanalytic theory in their practice. It's arguably a non-falsifiable pseudo-science. Unless your anxiety is so acute that you can't function on any normal level (like the time I didn't leave my house for about 2-3 weeks), I'd hold off on medication and try your non-chemical options first. To be clear, I'm not one of those people who thinks that 'unnatural drugs are bad maaannnnn', and have in fact been prescribed (and taken) meds at various times. In certain circumstances, for certain people, they are the only option and they can be a god send for some. But in my experience the pharmacological options for anxiety are are pretty poor. There are really only two mainstream choices: anti-depressants like SSRIs/SNRIs, which are rarely effective for anxiety and take 6-8 weeks to have any effect. So you end up on a very long-term course of trial and error. The other pharmacological option has traditionally been benzodiazapines (valium, kloponin etc.). Again, unless your illness is extremely acute, I very strongly urge you to never go down this path. They're very physically and psychologically addictive in the medium to long-term (sudden withdrawal can even result in in grand-mal seizures), and you will experience 'rebound' anxiety when you stop taking them. Lastly, although not a cure, a few lifestyle changes can vastly improve your quality of life while you're seeking out profession treatment. The big three are exercise, regular sleep and mindfulness meditation. It's difficult to start at first, but if you can make even 1 or 2 or those a regular habit you will see an improvement in your life. Anyhow, I really wish you all the best. Anxiety sucks, but fortunately there's a growing number of ways to make it suck less.
tsunamifury 10y ago
First, anxietycoach.com helps with the day to day problems if you are suffering from irrational fears and/or panic attacks. This is a common symptom of overwork/anxiety and you can totally overcome it. Its mostly about working on some better habits that are very simple. Beyond that, I know that for myself, anxiety keeps me from taking a real actual measure of my resources (costs, burn rate, etc) because as I get more anxious I just fill those data points in with a vague thought that its doomed. When I sit down, take an real mathematical measure of the situation, I am able to overcome the internal misconceptions that "i can never stop" or "I'll never escape this." To put this in perspective, I live in the SFBay where the financial spiral here is terrible. That being said, taking the measure of reality, helps me accept what I can and can't do. Once that is defined, I find myself feeling a lot more confidence in handling even the most dire situation -- because at least I have formed a rational plan.
- adamnemecek 10y ago
  Thanks!