If Apple announced that they are adding a new steel-spike-through-the-eye feature, John Gruber would be there to patiently explain how this could be really usef

If Apple announced that they are adding a new steel-spike-through-the-eye feature, John Gruber would be there to patiently explain how this could be really useful, and how it doesn't kill you unless you actually use it. If Apple announced that they were using ground-up baby bones in their newest iPhone case, John Gruber would be there to patiently explain how there's a surplus of babies in the world, and besides dirty diapers don't really fit in with the whole Apple æsthetic. If Apple announced that from this day forth the only way to get an Apple product would be in exchange for selling oneself into slavery under Apple, John Gruber would be there to patiently explain how this is a revolutionary new welfare programme which will ensure that no Apple customer ever goes to bed hungry. I absolutely love Markdown: he genuinely made the world a better place by coming up with it. But he's about the furthest thing from objective when it comes to Apple.