I generally agree, although she does try to redefine winning as a discussion that results in more of a win-win for everyone and losing as an area where someone

I generally agree, although she does try to redefine winning as a discussion that results in more of a win-win for everyone and losing as an area where someone "wins" the discussion but offends the other party, so it's not quite as contrarian as it seems. So, I think she means, a win for everyone, and she has the right approach. But I also agree with you, the terminology isn't quite accurate.