I agree with your points. But the miners who actually have a say, if I am not mistaken, are the big ones and the pool owners. These are just a small fraction of

I agree with your points. But the miners who actually have a say, if I am not mistaken, are the big ones and the pool owners. These are just a small fraction of all people running mining software. A soft fork will undeniably require distributed consensus. It is the number of people with the actual right to vote that may be worrisome. Perhaps the pool owners should extend their voting rights to their pool contributors, pooling votes as they pool mining shares. (Disclaimer: I hold a small amount of ETH and participate in a mining pool.)