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I am not sure you have a lot of empathy if you automatically assume people want to be asked that question. I hate it if colleagues without kids ask me about my
by iSnow 10y ago
I am not sure you have a lot of empathy if you automatically assume people want to be asked that question. I hate it if colleagues without kids ask me about my weekend because I believe that the joy of fatherhood breeds extremely boring stories for those who don't share it. I just don't want to feel lame telling you about how cute my daughters were.
Or if I am bustling with joy because the wife and I managed to sneak in an evening of kinky sex between bringing the kids to bed and work on monday. THAT's what I am thinking about and THAT's not what I want to tell you. So I invent some stupid story just so you are satisfied.
It's OK if colleagues which I know well and with whom I have a kind of bond ask things like that. But not as a conversation starter or to create such a bond.
And the list of people who cannot stand questions like that goes on: those with depression for whom every weekend is just a period of grayness, those with social anxiety...
- tcdent 10y ago"That question" need not be singled out as an outlier; what we're talking about is casual conversation. Inventing a story, rather than truthfully explaining that you "enjoyed spending time with your wife and daughters" sounds sick to me. You have a bond with everyone else already: we are humans. There is no prerequisite. As someone who identifies with both depression/anxiety and positivity toward my accomplishments, in addition to a definite introversion, I reiterate my last paragraph from above: stop lying to yourself and others. If you had a simple weekend, where is the shame in admitting it? If it was bad enough that you can't admit it, use that to fuel your development instead of pacifying it.