2 ms·

I bought my tickets too.

by kirubakaran 19y ago

edw519 19y ago
Good. I look forward to meeting you there. Hopefully in the auditorium, and not in the parking lot ;)
- kirubakaran 19y ago
  Great! Last time I felt like a loser roaming around - where everybody was talking to everybody else and I was looking in all possible general directions - like having a bad day at a night club.
  - wallflower 19y ago
    I know that feeling well. Like what am I doing here? Why does everyone know everyone here? Where the pain of going up to a group outweighs the possible benefit of networking.. I used to use the advanced wallflower technique - e.g. stand close but not too close to a group to make it seem like you belong - if the group moves on, go to the next group. Don't get it as much now. Practice. And there are several simple and/or silly techniques that make a huge difference. Silly or simple as they may be. Here's one: talk to people who are standing by themselves, chat and then (this is key) tell them 'i'd like to go meet that group over there. let's go"
    - kirubakaran 19y ago
      Exactly! Please share the techniques. If you are uncomfortable mentioning them here, I am kirubakaran->gmail.
      - wallflower 19y ago
        No problem. I've absorbed the following techniques from a wide range of sources (blogs to books to observing my savvy natural networking friends). Please share your own observations or techniques (i'm not an expert - I just paint myself as one in news.yc land) 1. On your way to the event, choose to smile and say hi to almost everyone you pass. The first ten may not even register a response but once you get to thirty or event twenty hellos, people start to sense your warmness (you're warmed up socially) 2. When you get to the event, pause in the entrance for at least 10 seconds. 3. Silly technique but don't diss it until you try it. When you walk into an unfamilar room, make friends with it. Say (silently) 'Hello wall, nice to meet you. Hello table. how are you" Later you can extend this to (silently) sending out 'Hello person - it's nice to meet you' as you walk around the room. 4. Do not walk around with a drink. Keep your hands free. Walking around with a drink or worse a plate and a drink is like a 'don't bother me. i'm busy feeding myself' Put down your drinks/food and be open. 5. Talk to single individuals and bring them into a group with you (Do not say: "Nice meeting you. Talk to you later" - that could make a temporary enemy, Say: "I'd like to go talk with that group over there." (if they don't want to, then you can gracefully leave the singleton) 6. Remember names. Google will show you that there are many memorization techniques to do this. Some are pretty outrageous. All require practice (especially the visual mnemonic ones). All require hearing the name in the first place. 7. Wear your nametag (if there is one) on the right. Wearing it on the right lets another person see the nametag easier, during a handshake (assuming right-to-right) 8. You're not there to chat 30 minutes with a stranger (unless you want to). Mingling is not standing by the bar talking with one or two people. You're not there to build relationships (that's not possible) - if you enjoy talking with someone - get their contact info at the peak of the conversation. 9. Here's an example for holiday parties. The whole idea is to transition from (something shared) the environment to (you and your conversation partner) personal. A: 'Nice food' B: 'How are you enjoying the party' C: 'I like Holiday parties because' D: 'I'm looking forward to visiting my family in X during' E: 'What are your holiday plans' 10. Don't use close-ended questions. 'Are you having a good time'. That's boring. That's lame. Instead try making statements 'I like how that buffet line is as packed as I-280' 11. Follow up within 24-48 hours. For real bonus points, hand-write and mail an actual note in the postal mail. (advanced) 12. You have to show initiative and commitment. If you walk up with a lame 'How are you?' you'll get a tepid response. However, if you walk up with a 'Nice to meet you. I'm wallflower' and the feeling like you already know them/they're good friends, then wow can happen (Super-advanced) 13. Work the room like you own the place. The most natural and savviest of my friends do this. Confidence and a smile are the best icebreaker, not alcohol.
        kirubakaran 19y ago
        These are completely new to me. Thanks a lot.
        edw519 19y ago
        These are great! Thank you. I especially like #6. It's only data and it goes a long way. This reminds me of a business workshop for hackers that I once went to. At exactly 9:00, all 20 of us were at our seats reading the workbook. The teacher entered the room and said, "If you people are interested in building your businesses, you obviously need to be here. Now close those books and get up and meet each other."
        colellm 19y ago
        Great tips. I have heard the one about wearing your nametag on your right side. Not something you would ever think about unless you were told.
        dhotson 18y ago
        I find a good way is just to introduce yourself to people. "Hi, my name is Dennis" .. works for me. :D
        roundbrackets 18y ago
        Wow, that makes me nervous just reading it.
        yelsgib 18y ago
        Great list, yo. I especially like #1. Hadn't thought about it, but I bet it would work.
        warfare_expert 18y ago
        While a lot of these are good behavioral techniques to project confidence, for the long term there is no substitute to create a healthy self-image that just makes you very cool to be around without even trying. Just like we have an opinion about our friends, people at work and so on, we also have an opinion about ourselves, both at conscious and subconscious levels. A lot of happiness and events in life stems directly from what opinion you hold of yourself. And eventually that opinion leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy...i.e. if you think you are no good in a particular setting, it eventually becomes so. A strong self-image can totally turn around your relationship with other people, your work and environment To get started, try the book Psycho-Cybernetics...it contains a treasure of information to be acted upon... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psycho-Cybernetics http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psycho-Cybernetics
    - iamelgringo 19y ago
      This is one of the reasons that I'm planning on having a get together the night before Startup school. That way, if people want to, they can have a chance to get together and meet each other in a smaller group before the big event the next day. I'll keep people posted, and start a Meetup group on Meetup.com pretty soon.

I bought my tickets too.

edw519 19y ago

Good. I look forward to meeting you there. Hopefully in the auditorium, and not in the parking lot ;)

kirubakaran 19y ago
Great! Last time I felt like a loser roaming around - where everybody was talking to everybody else and I was looking in all possible general directions - like having a bad day at a night club.
- wallflower 19y ago
  I know that feeling well. Like what am I doing here? Why does everyone know everyone here? Where the pain of going up to a group outweighs the possible benefit of networking.. I used to use the advanced wallflower technique - e.g. stand close but not too close to a group to make it seem like you belong - if the group moves on, go to the next group. Don't get it as much now. Practice. And there are several simple and/or silly techniques that make a huge difference. Silly or simple as they may be. Here's one: talk to people who are standing by themselves, chat and then (this is key) tell them 'i'd like to go meet that group over there. let's go"
  - kirubakaran 19y ago
    Exactly! Please share the techniques. If you are uncomfortable mentioning them here, I am kirubakaran->gmail.
    - wallflower 19y ago
      No problem. I've absorbed the following techniques from a wide range of sources (blogs to books to observing my savvy natural networking friends). Please share your own observations or techniques (i'm not an expert - I just paint myself as one in news.yc land) 1. On your way to the event, choose to smile and say hi to almost everyone you pass. The first ten may not even register a response but once you get to thirty or event twenty hellos, people start to sense your warmness (you're warmed up socially) 2. When you get to the event, pause in the entrance for at least 10 seconds. 3. Silly technique but don't diss it until you try it. When you walk into an unfamilar room, make friends with it. Say (silently) 'Hello wall, nice to meet you. Hello table. how are you" Later you can extend this to (silently) sending out 'Hello person - it's nice to meet you' as you walk around the room. 4. Do not walk around with a drink. Keep your hands free. Walking around with a drink or worse a plate and a drink is like a 'don't bother me. i'm busy feeding myself' Put down your drinks/food and be open. 5. Talk to single individuals and bring them into a group with you (Do not say: "Nice meeting you. Talk to you later" - that could make a temporary enemy, Say: "I'd like to go talk with that group over there." (if they don't want to, then you can gracefully leave the singleton) 6. Remember names. Google will show you that there are many memorization techniques to do this. Some are pretty outrageous. All require practice (especially the visual mnemonic ones). All require hearing the name in the first place. 7. Wear your nametag (if there is one) on the right. Wearing it on the right lets another person see the nametag easier, during a handshake (assuming right-to-right) 8. You're not there to chat 30 minutes with a stranger (unless you want to). Mingling is not standing by the bar talking with one or two people. You're not there to build relationships (that's not possible) - if you enjoy talking with someone - get their contact info at the peak of the conversation. 9. Here's an example for holiday parties. The whole idea is to transition from (something shared) the environment to (you and your conversation partner) personal. A: 'Nice food' B: 'How are you enjoying the party' C: 'I like Holiday parties because' D: 'I'm looking forward to visiting my family in X during' E: 'What are your holiday plans' 10. Don't use close-ended questions. 'Are you having a good time'. That's boring. That's lame. Instead try making statements 'I like how that buffet line is as packed as I-280' 11. Follow up within 24-48 hours. For real bonus points, hand-write and mail an actual note in the postal mail. (advanced) 12. You have to show initiative and commitment. If you walk up with a lame 'How are you?' you'll get a tepid response. However, if you walk up with a 'Nice to meet you. I'm wallflower' and the feeling like you already know them/they're good friends, then wow can happen (Super-advanced) 13. Work the room like you own the place. The most natural and savviest of my friends do this. Confidence and a smile are the best icebreaker, not alcohol.
      - kirubakaran 19y ago
        These are completely new to me. Thanks a lot.
      - edw519 19y ago
        These are great! Thank you. I especially like #6. It's only data and it goes a long way. This reminds me of a business workshop for hackers that I once went to. At exactly 9:00, all 20 of us were at our seats reading the workbook. The teacher entered the room and said, "If you people are interested in building your businesses, you obviously need to be here. Now close those books and get up and meet each other."
      - colellm 19y ago
        Great tips. I have heard the one about wearing your nametag on your right side. Not something you would ever think about unless you were told.
      - dhotson 18y ago
        I find a good way is just to introduce yourself to people. "Hi, my name is Dennis" .. works for me. :D
      - roundbrackets 18y ago
        Wow, that makes me nervous just reading it.
      - yelsgib 18y ago
        Great list, yo. I especially like #1. Hadn't thought about it, but I bet it would work.
      - warfare_expert 18y ago
        While a lot of these are good behavioral techniques to project confidence, for the long term there is no substitute to create a healthy self-image that just makes you very cool to be around without even trying. Just like we have an opinion about our friends, people at work and so on, we also have an opinion about ourselves, both at conscious and subconscious levels. A lot of happiness and events in life stems directly from what opinion you hold of yourself. And eventually that opinion leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy...i.e. if you think you are no good in a particular setting, it eventually becomes so. A strong self-image can totally turn around your relationship with other people, your work and environment To get started, try the book Psycho-Cybernetics...it contains a treasure of information to be acted upon... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psycho-Cybernetics http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psycho-Cybernetics
  - iamelgringo 19y ago
    This is one of the reasons that I'm planning on having a get together the night before Startup school. That way, if people want to, they can have a chance to get together and meet each other in a smaller group before the big event the next day. I'll keep people posted, and start a Meetup group on Meetup.com pretty soon.