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I read this book after I divorced, and I remember seeing a lot of my own relationship in it. Bottom line, everyone is not you, and to make the most of a relati
by nfnaaron 17y ago
I read this book after I divorced, and I remember seeing a lot of my own relationship in it.
Bottom line, everyone is not you, and to make the most of a relationship you need to understand how they see things, and accommodate.
- thisduck 17y agoyou need to understand how they see things Isn't that the hard part?
- alanthonyc 17y agoYup, that's the hard part. Empathy is a skill that can be developed though, and it can be useful, and not just for altruistic motives.
- nfnaaron 17y agoIt was for us. :-/
- torial 17y agoIt is the hard part. Part of the value of the book is in providing a simple framework for people to understand something a little alien to them. This will increase your chances of understanding. This is not the same as trying put people in a box and limit them, it is more like trying to study what typifies a particular culture and being sensitive to that.
- FluidDjango 17y agoNo. The hardest part is often the willingness to see things from another's point of view - and to have it be all right for the other to have a different point of view. Understanding comes with that willingness.
- skmurphy 17y agoIn my experience realizing that your partner has different expectations for the actions--Physical Touch, Words of Affirmatio, Quality Time, Thoughtful Gifts, Acts of Service--that affirm your relationship is the hard part. Acting on that realization is straightforward if you are committed to the relationship. It's a good book and one I wish I had read earlier.