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Thank you. I'm social enough that people give me strange looks when I describe myself as a loner. I've been accused of posing. As if being a loner is "in" now o

Thank you. I'm social enough that people give me strange looks when I describe myself as a loner. I've been accused of posing. As if being a loner is "in" now or something. Everything in my reality is telling me to be more social. But there's a truth that I simply know which apparently has no voice: It feels amazing to spend time alone. Like a lot. I wish more people would speak up about it. Shamelessly. Also, people make the worst faces when I tell them I don't watch TV. I suspect they're concerned that I'm judging them. In both cases people just seem clueless as to how to handle the situation. I guess, compared to the opposite, it is harder to identify with loners and people who don't watch TV...

lovemenot 10y ago
From what you've written, I believe the issue you face with others' perceptions of you is your tendency to proselytize. It comes through even in this short comment. When you are truly comfortable in yourself, you won't feel the need to convince others that this is so. And they won't find anything odd about you. In fact they'll be drawn to you, since you have obviously got something they lack.
- deleted 10y ago
  [deleted]
- MawNicker 10y ago
  > When you are truly comfortable in yourself, you won't feel the need to convince others that this is so. Maybe I'm an introvert or something. I'm not trying to say that spending more time alone is good for everyone. But as someone who is comfortable spending time alone I know it's looked down on by much of society. This is even implied by your comment... Why else would I be uncomfortable with it? I also smoke pot. I'm comfortable with it and I regularly tell people: Unlike they told you in DARE, it won't kill you. I am very averse to your line of thinking. Generalized and applied indiscriminately it implies that a person should never feel motivated to articulate any opinion they authentically possess.
  - tunap 10y ago
    Many people cannot fathom the concept 'alone doesn't necessarily mean lonely'.
  - lovemenot 10y ago
    I did not mean you to stop doing anything. Rather to try to explain why you may be constantly meeting resistance and to offer what might be a more effective route to achieving the same goal. North Wind still gonna blow, even though the Gentle Sunshine was more effective in removing the man's overcoat.
    - MawNicker 10y ago
      If people are skeptical they're probably the sort of people who can't handle being alone. Maybe I shouldn't be convincing them of anything. I don't really have a goal. It's not like I make these comments as conversation starters. Someone asks me if I watched Game of Thrones last night and I tell them I don't watch TV. They ask why I didn't attend some social function and I tell them I'm a loner. I was mostly just commenting on the nature of people's reactions. Is it that unheard of for someone to be comfortable alone and to prefer it? I suspect there's some repression at work and I was applauding the GP for resisting it.

lovemenot 10y ago

From what you've written, I believe the issue you face with others' perceptions of you is your tendency to proselytize. It comes through even in this short comment. When you are truly comfortable in yourself, you won't feel the need to convince others that this is so. And they won't find anything odd about you. In fact they'll be drawn to you, since you have obviously got something they lack.

deleted 10y ago
[deleted]
MawNicker 10y ago
> When you are truly comfortable in yourself, you won't feel the need to convince others that this is so. Maybe I'm an introvert or something. I'm not trying to say that spending more time alone is good for everyone. But as someone who is comfortable spending time alone I know it's looked down on by much of society. This is even implied by your comment... Why else would I be uncomfortable with it? I also smoke pot. I'm comfortable with it and I regularly tell people: Unlike they told you in DARE, it won't kill you. I am very averse to your line of thinking. Generalized and applied indiscriminately it implies that a person should never feel motivated to articulate any opinion they authentically possess.
- tunap 10y ago
  Many people cannot fathom the concept 'alone doesn't necessarily mean lonely'.
- lovemenot 10y ago
  I did not mean you to stop doing anything. Rather to try to explain why you may be constantly meeting resistance and to offer what might be a more effective route to achieving the same goal. North Wind still gonna blow, even though the Gentle Sunshine was more effective in removing the man's overcoat.
  - MawNicker 10y ago
    If people are skeptical they're probably the sort of people who can't handle being alone. Maybe I shouldn't be convincing them of anything. I don't really have a goal. It's not like I make these comments as conversation starters. Someone asks me if I watched Game of Thrones last night and I tell them I don't watch TV. They ask why I didn't attend some social function and I tell them I'm a loner. I was mostly just commenting on the nature of people's reactions. Is it that unheard of for someone to be comfortable alone and to prefer it? I suspect there's some repression at work and I was applauding the GP for resisting it.