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The more I read about this, the more weird I think I must be. I've always preferred being alone. My time in San Francisco was utter hell. I couldn't get a momen

The more I read about this, the more weird I think I must be. I've always preferred being alone. My time in San Francisco was utter hell. I couldn't get a moment away from people and noise. Now I live in complete isolation. My nearest neighbor is two miles down a dirt road. I only go into town to stock up on foods, which I vacuum seal and stuff in the deep freeze (enough to last me 3 months at a time). I've never been happier than I am now.

ktRolster 10y ago
I'd bet it helps that you can talk to people whenever you want on this website (and others). Human interaction.
- kstenerud 10y ago
  I suppose so. This is the only site I participate in, but I usually end up posting a comment every week or two.
sseagull 10y ago
I get that feeling as well, sometimes. Even though I don't want quite your level of isolation, I don't mind working alone or not talking to anyone else in person for days (except my wife). I sometimes think of it as the 'tyranny of the extroverts'. Since they are, well, extroverted, they are the ones controlling the narrative of what's 'normal', while the introverts are too introverted to really speak up. Extroverts are the ones saying cities are better than rural areas since there's more to do, etc (see other HN threads). I'm with you, though. I will take a quiet, rural or semi-rural area over a city any day.
- hueving 10y ago
  I'm introverted and I still prefer more population because it offers a lot more diversity in restaurants and grocery stores (I like to eat all kinds of stuff). I also enjoy the bustle of people even though I don't prefer to talk to any random individual.
- tripzilch 10y ago
  > I don't mind working alone or not talking to anyone else in person for days (except my wife) IMO, there's a huge difference about loneliness between not talking to zero people or only talking to one, in particular if that one person is important in your life such as your wife, as opposed to having had a short chat with the cleaning lady in the hall a week ago. I appreciate that kstenerud was talking about the zero people scenario, and that it's possible to prefer it that way. I think it depends on how well you have the other parts of your life in order?
  - sseagull 10y ago
    I agree. There's certainly a continuum for the desire to be around others. kstenerud is very much at the extreme. But he's not the only one, and there's nothing at all wrong with that.
update 10y ago
I completely relate and I don't think it's weird at all. I'm currently transitioning to your lifestyle right now.
umanwizard 10y ago
Everyone is different, and has different needs
wglb 10y ago
Well, perhaps you haven't read this: http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/302696/ http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-f... I read the article the same way. While I don't disagree that for many folks social isolation is an issue, it isn't that way for everyone. I find that non-introverts don't necessarily quite get it.
ctrlalt_g 10y ago
I don't think I've ever felt loneliness in my life despite having been socially isolated several times.
blitzd 10y ago
You're not weird, just likely introverted. This book may help: https://www.amazon.com/Introvert-Advantage-People-Thrive-Extrovert/dp/0761123695 https://www.amazon.com/Introvert-Advantage-People-Thrive-Ext...
sgt101 10y ago
You are you - all humans are unique. You have your needs and desires and you have found a way to satisfy them. I'd be interested to learn if you feel any commitment or duty to others - do you have a social impulse separate from your desire for personal isolation? For example some people in your mould have written books to try and share their thoughts with other humans, some people make art, perhaps some people give money or other support? Would you like to do any of those things or do you think that you should?
cJ0th 10y ago
You frame this as a false dichotomy. Spending time with obnoxious people is not the only option you (theoretically) have besides being alone. I, too, can spend weeks/months without interacting with other people and I stay content. I can read interesting stuff till the cows come home, cultivate my linux system like other people cultivate their gardens, compose music etc. But the information that I absorb or generate myself in this way is very limited. Connecting with other people makes you enter worlds that are much bigger then your own little micro cosmos. Those people don't even need to be specially intelligent or interesting. Especially when you've spent a lot of time on your own very mundane interactions with other people can be almost magical if you allow yourself to drop some assumptions re: how people should be. In fact, meanwhile I find some types of people who irritated me when I was younger quite interesting. However, the sad thing is that many people lack the ability to really connect with other people. There are many reasons for this like poorly developed personalities, self centeredness or greed (i.e. they only talk to you when they want something) This makes most interactions indeed futile. So how can people form more meaningful relationships? I guess it would be helpful if more people spent time to learn about spirituality. By that I don't mean that they should join a sect or cult or that they have to adopt some crazy believes but rather that one should look beneath the stories of the various faiths and see how all those different groups who lived in different geographical regions have figured out incredibly similar mechanisms to cope with life and even managed to turn it into something great. We like to stand on the shoulders of giants when it comes to (modern) technology yet we ignore "mental software" of the past thinking that our ridiculously short time on earth is enough to figure out everything necessary for ourselves in that area.
- kstenerud 10y ago
  "Spending time with obnoxious people is not the only option you (theoretically) have besides being alone." This has nothing to do with obnoxious people. I actually like people - in very small doses. Even the most pleasant person becomes a mental and spiritual burden after about an hour. Aloneness, on the other hand, is a beautiful thing. I can sit and contemplate. I can read the great authors. I can play my guitar. I can go on a hike in the wilderness at my doorstep (literally). I have all of human art and history at my fingertips, and now the time and space to ponder it.
asadkn 10y ago
You're not weird, but you may not feel the same way forever. Also, there's more to loneliness at an older age - that the article addresses - than just the need for social interaction.

ktRolster 10y ago

I'd bet it helps that you can talk to people whenever you want on this website (and others). Human interaction.

kstenerud 10y ago
I suppose so. This is the only site I participate in, but I usually end up posting a comment every week or two.

sseagull 10y ago

I get that feeling as well, sometimes. Even though I don't want quite your level of isolation, I don't mind working alone or not talking to anyone else in person for days (except my wife). I sometimes think of it as the 'tyranny of the extroverts'. Since they are, well, extroverted, they are the ones controlling the narrative of what's 'normal', while the introverts are too introverted to really speak up. Extroverts are the ones saying cities are better than rural areas since there's more to do, etc (see other HN threads). I'm with you, though. I will take a quiet, rural or semi-rural area over a city any day.

hueving 10y ago
I'm introverted and I still prefer more population because it offers a lot more diversity in restaurants and grocery stores (I like to eat all kinds of stuff). I also enjoy the bustle of people even though I don't prefer to talk to any random individual.
tripzilch 10y ago
> I don't mind working alone or not talking to anyone else in person for days (except my wife) IMO, there's a huge difference about loneliness between not talking to zero people or only talking to one, in particular if that one person is important in your life such as your wife, as opposed to having had a short chat with the cleaning lady in the hall a week ago. I appreciate that kstenerud was talking about the zero people scenario, and that it's possible to prefer it that way. I think it depends on how well you have the other parts of your life in order?
- sseagull 10y ago
  I agree. There's certainly a continuum for the desire to be around others. kstenerud is very much at the extreme. But he's not the only one, and there's nothing at all wrong with that.

update 10y ago

I completely relate and I don't think it's weird at all. I'm currently transitioning to your lifestyle right now.

umanwizard 10y ago

Everyone is different, and has different needs

wglb 10y ago

Well, perhaps you haven't read this: http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/302696/ http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-f... I read the article the same way. While I don't disagree that for many folks social isolation is an issue, it isn't that way for everyone. I find that non-introverts don't necessarily quite get it.

ctrlalt_g 10y ago

I don't think I've ever felt loneliness in my life despite having been socially isolated several times.

blitzd 10y ago

You're not weird, just likely introverted. This book may help: https://www.amazon.com/Introvert-Advantage-People-Thrive-Extrovert/dp/0761123695 https://www.amazon.com/Introvert-Advantage-People-Thrive-Ext...

sgt101 10y ago

You are you - all humans are unique. You have your needs and desires and you have found a way to satisfy them. I'd be interested to learn if you feel any commitment or duty to others - do you have a social impulse separate from your desire for personal isolation? For example some people in your mould have written books to try and share their thoughts with other humans, some people make art, perhaps some people give money or other support? Would you like to do any of those things or do you think that you should?

cJ0th 10y ago

You frame this as a false dichotomy. Spending time with obnoxious people is not the only option you (theoretically) have besides being alone. I, too, can spend weeks/months without interacting with other people and I stay content. I can read interesting stuff till the cows come home, cultivate my linux system like other people cultivate their gardens, compose music etc. But the information that I absorb or generate myself in this way is very limited. Connecting with other people makes you enter worlds that are much bigger then your own little micro cosmos. Those people don't even need to be specially intelligent or interesting. Especially when you've spent a lot of time on your own very mundane interactions with other people can be almost magical if you allow yourself to drop some assumptions re: how people should be. In fact, meanwhile I find some types of people who irritated me when I was younger quite interesting. However, the sad thing is that many people lack the ability to really connect with other people. There are many reasons for this like poorly developed personalities, self centeredness or greed (i.e. they only talk to you when they want something) This makes most interactions indeed futile. So how can people form more meaningful relationships? I guess it would be helpful if more people spent time to learn about spirituality. By that I don't mean that they should join a sect or cult or that they have to adopt some crazy believes but rather that one should look beneath the stories of the various faiths and see how all those different groups who lived in different geographical regions have figured out incredibly similar mechanisms to cope with life and even managed to turn it into something great. We like to stand on the shoulders of giants when it comes to (modern) technology yet we ignore "mental software" of the past thinking that our ridiculously short time on earth is enough to figure out everything necessary for ourselves in that area.

kstenerud 10y ago
"Spending time with obnoxious people is not the only option you (theoretically) have besides being alone." This has nothing to do with obnoxious people. I actually like people - in very small doses. Even the most pleasant person becomes a mental and spiritual burden after about an hour. Aloneness, on the other hand, is a beautiful thing. I can sit and contemplate. I can read the great authors. I can play my guitar. I can go on a hike in the wilderness at my doorstep (literally). I have all of human art and history at my fingertips, and now the time and space to ponder it.

asadkn 10y ago

You're not weird, but you may not feel the same way forever. Also, there's more to loneliness at an older age - that the article addresses - than just the need for social interaction.