It's a nitpick, and it might be just me, but I find "business student" a slightly misleading way to identify yourself as an undergraduate business major. EDIT:

It's a nitpick, and it might be just me, but I find "business student" a slightly misleading way to identify yourself as an undergraduate business major. EDIT: Also, if I was interviewing you, I would push you pretty hard on some of your "interests". Quantum physics? Awesome demonstration of well-roundedness if true, but... could you walk me through (e.g.) the time-independent Schrodinger equation? FURTHER EDIT: I think there are a couple punctuation issues in this sentence: "I have held an interest in marketing since high school when I founded my cities first youth filmmaker’s festival." I know these are all minor points, but I'm hoping you'll find them helpful.