I'm not a lawyer (I'm a recruiter), and during my initial training years ago I was under the impression that the recruiter wasn't obligated to say who gave the

I'm not a lawyer (I'm a recruiter), and during my initial training years ago I was under the impression that the recruiter wasn't obligated to say who gave the bad reference, but was obligated to reveal the information provided that led to the decision not to hire. This was a long time ago (and not in NY). As far as your approach, telling a company you have no interest in them doesn't increase their incentive to basically do you a favor. Most companies will take "I'm not interested in working for you" as a bit of an insult to the company, so leadership isn't likely to go out of their way to help you once you've said that (regardless of the other circumstances you've described). It comes across as sour grapes at this point.