Having a fair share of under-employment for many years, and stressful "have puked blood" positions as well, I can relate and hope you can keep grinding. One thi

Having a fair share of under-employment for many years, and stressful "have puked blood" positions as well, I can relate and hope you can keep grinding. One thing I told myself is that with every application, I have to "scrape the crusted shit off my skin" so I wouldn't look like I'd been through what I had been through. Piles of rejections, go-nowhere interviews - that's the crud that has to be scraped off because when you get the job you've been angling for, it's theoretically the last application you'll have to submit for a long time. On a side note I can also relate to being in a market that isn't attractive or even really sustainable in some regards. Where I'm at is not a place to make a living as a musician. Where I'm at doesn't pay top-dollar for my skill-set. Where I'm at is actually where I want to live, and that's something I've come to value. Being in a place I don't like would infinitely compound my negative feelings as well. I find your perspective quite normal, all things considered. Take care.