I just mean you should respect how their decision affects themselves. Respect that they're looking out for themselves, they're more likely to know what's best f

I just mean you should respect how their decision affects themselves. Respect that they're looking out for themselves, they're more likely to know what's best for them than you are, and that their goals aren't necessarily in line with yours. So yes, you should complain about them, but you shouldn't complain that they're being "stupid" (ie, not doing the best for themselves), you should worry about yourself and complain that you're not getting what you want, and you should put pressure on them. Let them figure out how and whether to give it to you. To me, the alternative is people feeling like they should micromanage each other, which I think is bad for various reasons.