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> feeling "like everyone is questioning why you are there by yourself" This sounds like https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotlight_effect https://en.wikipedia.org
by tuxracer 10y ago
> feeling "like everyone is questioning why you are there by yourself"
This sounds like https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotlight_effect https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotlight_effect In reality it's likely that nobody noticed you much at all, and almost certainly didn't care to analyze why you're by yourself or even if you really are by yourself.
It can be actually liberating to realize that random strangers you're not interacting with couldn't care less about you short of some kind of medical emergency (and sometimes even then...)
It can be more fun to go to events with people. It can also be more fun to go by yourself. Just realize either way people around you are unlikely to care or even notice either way.
- blazespin 10y agoWell, it depends on the event and the people. Some people are endless gossip and all they care about are what other people are doing. Some people love to hang out and people watch. Which, btw, is a great thing to do if you're alone :D
- ptrincr 10y agoThanks for sharing this link, very interesting.
- thebooktocome 10y agoAt least in the states, women who are perceived to be alone or merely without male companion really are noticed by a certain kind of guy as available for harassment.
- Tsagadai 10y agoNot to sound like too much of an egotist but some of us really are noticed an awful lot and spotlight effect sounds pretty alien to me. I am very tall (over two meters) so that is definitely part of it. I am very outgoing and I tend to go to events alone (because few friends share all my interests and I am fairly antisocial and impatient). All that congeals into many people remembering me and I don't remember them (except interesting stories separated from identities). I don't think most people remember me but many do, they have told me so. It would be quite an experience to just be able to be unnoticed in a crowd but it is one I have never really experienced in larger crowds as there is always some extrovert introduces themselves. I daresay intentional attention seekers and those with some physical quality that greatly distinguishes them from the norm would have a similar experience.
- ChristianBundy 10y agoSounds like this might be right up your alley: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandiose_delusions https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandiose_delusions
- gaius 10y agoIt's the same in the gym. People are there to do their own workouts and won't even notice anyone else (unless they're squat rack curling, then everyone will notice).