They aren't really conflicting. The middle-ground coms from recognizing things that really are your responsibility, while ignoring the parts that have nothing t

They aren't really conflicting. The middle-ground coms from recognizing things that really are your responsibility, while ignoring the parts that have nothing to do with you. Basically they are extremes to be avoided. Taking some criticism is probably a good idea -- it can be helpful. Similarly passing blame even when the problem is your fault is probably a bad idea. Say, for instance, you are on a project with a couple other developers. Your main responsibilities have been features a, b, and c. Further you noticed d and e were pretty messed up, and helped a junior developer start straightening them out. Some milestone is reached, and you have a code review with the senior dev (who is one of those arrogant guys who may be pretty good, but is also a condescending asshat). He says "your factoring on a,b, and c could be done this way instead, how could you not see something so simple. As for d and e you really screwed the pooch there". The extremes would be "Gosh i am stupid, I really messed up factoring and features, I need to work 80 hour weeks to make up for it" and "It was all junior dev's fault -- if only he didn't need help i could have factored right, and you wouldn't even think to talk to me about d and e." In reality (reconciling the two statements) a good approach would ignore the stupidity insinuation, acknowledge that the factoring could be better, and say "Listen d and e aren't even mine, I'm helping junior dev learn the ropes, so there are mistakes, but they're getting better, you should have seen it last week".