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Currently what's making me worry about being a bad programmer is a coworker. I have no idea what I did to him but the guy clearly has some kind of grudge agains

Currently what's making me worry about being a bad programmer is a coworker. I have no idea what I did to him but the guy clearly has some kind of grudge against me. He questions my competence (sometimes subtly, sometimes outright) and doesn't want me changing the code even if I submit a 1-line code review removing an unused variable. He's a lot more lenient with other people and sometimes it's me who catches errors in code changes he's already put a "lgtm" on. Going to work and having to sit next to someone like that every day is quickly making me think of jumping ship.

TheCowboy 10y ago
Have you tried asking that co-worker directly in a tactful way? If you have, what about talking to a manager with whom you have a good relationship? If their behavior is a problem, then ignoring this will just let it fester. You might also try to take a step back and see if their behavior actually matters, and treat it as a personality quirk. There are people like this everywhere, so even jumping ship may not exclude this or worse from happening at the next place. Just don't mention that you're thinking about jumping ship to anyone. That doesn't help you or them.
trustfundbaby 10y ago
Bring it up to your boss, and make sure you're clear that you need it to stop. These are the kind of jerks that can do a lot of harm to your confidence and your career as a programmer, especially if you're a minority in programming already (by making question if it wouldn't be better if you just went and did something else, which is already something that the world is telling you from the get go). Don't let it slide, raise the issue to HR if you need to. If it doesn't end, go find another job where you can grow and just leave. Don't look back. Working with people like this is very poisonous in lots of insidious ways, and ultimately never worth the stress
- HillaryBriss 10y ago
  It's interesting that a lot of companies complain about a shortage of programmers and applicants, but, at the same time, allow this sort of toxic environment to persist.
  - BurningFrog 10y ago
    Of course, since there is such a shortage of programmers, people are reluctant to fire the jerks. It's also hard for outsiders to tell who is the jerk when two programmers don't get along. It's often both of them. This profession attracts a lot of people with low social skills, on or off the spectrum, so this stuff is hard...
    - karmajunkie 10y ago
      There's no shortage of programmers. There's a shortage of employers willing to pay programmers more than a rounding error on the success of the company.
rahulr 10y ago
Unfortunately, I have seen this happen way too many times. I sometimes wonder, if that is a defensive technique to hide one's own insecurity.
- somethingsimple 10y ago
  The coworker in question has some very childish traits. I find it hard he would feel insecure though, since he is definitely very smart and delivers good work. I'm not one to say I'm smarter than him or even as smart as him, but I am fairly confident in the quality of my work (boosted by positive feedback from good developers I've worked with and look up to). That's why it bothers me that he has this attitude towards me. Initially I ascribed the somewhat rude way he acts to a psychological trait (I'm positive the guy has Asperger's), but then I started noticing it was more targeted at me.
  - dont_throwaway 10y ago
    I had a very similar experience at the beginning of my career. Due to inexperience, I tolerated it for several months. It took more than that after I changed environment in order to come back to normal. The damage that person did to me was huge. I managed to recover only thanks to very strong social support from some friends I had since university. Even though we were not talking about the issue, doing other (kind of extreme though) activities helped me. Looking back, tolerating this behaviour was a disservice to both me and the company I was working at. I lost many things professionally because of that. Do not make the same mistake. The guy might be super clever, super efficient and very knowledgeable. That does not give him the right, though, to destroy people's lives. And if you tolerate this, keep in mind that there will be also others in your position later. Btw, the description you provide matches pretty closely the guy I knew. Super smart, Asperger's and I was his victim. Before me, there was another person who was holding him in very high esteem but was also forced to resign, partly because of the unsupportive environment.
hypertexthero 10y ago
You can only work for people that you like. —https://www.miltonglaser.com/files/Essays-10things-8400.pdf https://www.miltonglaser.com/files/Essays-10things-8400.pdf
davidjnelson 10y ago
Any way to find common ground with this person? Maybe take walks with them and listen to what they have to say about anything at all or something? Maybe ask why they question your competence and how you can work together better in an informal way? Sometimes people are just assholes. Sometimes people are a lot alike and that actually causes friction. In those cases, it's possibly to transform a "rivalry" into a friendship if you work at it. But if they really are just an asshole, then ya, the advice in the other people's comments make sense. Just make sure you at least try to bridge the gap first. Otherwise, if they are a good person and the friction is not due to them really being an asshole, going to your manager or HR could end up drastically eroding the trust to the point of being irreparable.

TheCowboy 10y ago

Have you tried asking that co-worker directly in a tactful way? If you have, what about talking to a manager with whom you have a good relationship? If their behavior is a problem, then ignoring this will just let it fester. You might also try to take a step back and see if their behavior actually matters, and treat it as a personality quirk. There are people like this everywhere, so even jumping ship may not exclude this or worse from happening at the next place. Just don't mention that you're thinking about jumping ship to anyone. That doesn't help you or them.

trustfundbaby 10y ago

Bring it up to your boss, and make sure you're clear that you need it to stop. These are the kind of jerks that can do a lot of harm to your confidence and your career as a programmer, especially if you're a minority in programming already (by making question if it wouldn't be better if you just went and did something else, which is already something that the world is telling you from the get go). Don't let it slide, raise the issue to HR if you need to. If it doesn't end, go find another job where you can grow and just leave. Don't look back. Working with people like this is very poisonous in lots of insidious ways, and ultimately never worth the stress

HillaryBriss 10y ago
It's interesting that a lot of companies complain about a shortage of programmers and applicants, but, at the same time, allow this sort of toxic environment to persist.
- BurningFrog 10y ago
  Of course, since there is such a shortage of programmers, people are reluctant to fire the jerks. It's also hard for outsiders to tell who is the jerk when two programmers don't get along. It's often both of them. This profession attracts a lot of people with low social skills, on or off the spectrum, so this stuff is hard...
  - karmajunkie 10y ago
    There's no shortage of programmers. There's a shortage of employers willing to pay programmers more than a rounding error on the success of the company.

rahulr 10y ago

Unfortunately, I have seen this happen way too many times. I sometimes wonder, if that is a defensive technique to hide one's own insecurity.

somethingsimple 10y ago
The coworker in question has some very childish traits. I find it hard he would feel insecure though, since he is definitely very smart and delivers good work. I'm not one to say I'm smarter than him or even as smart as him, but I am fairly confident in the quality of my work (boosted by positive feedback from good developers I've worked with and look up to). That's why it bothers me that he has this attitude towards me. Initially I ascribed the somewhat rude way he acts to a psychological trait (I'm positive the guy has Asperger's), but then I started noticing it was more targeted at me.
- dont_throwaway 10y ago
  I had a very similar experience at the beginning of my career. Due to inexperience, I tolerated it for several months. It took more than that after I changed environment in order to come back to normal. The damage that person did to me was huge. I managed to recover only thanks to very strong social support from some friends I had since university. Even though we were not talking about the issue, doing other (kind of extreme though) activities helped me. Looking back, tolerating this behaviour was a disservice to both me and the company I was working at. I lost many things professionally because of that. Do not make the same mistake. The guy might be super clever, super efficient and very knowledgeable. That does not give him the right, though, to destroy people's lives. And if you tolerate this, keep in mind that there will be also others in your position later. Btw, the description you provide matches pretty closely the guy I knew. Super smart, Asperger's and I was his victim. Before me, there was another person who was holding him in very high esteem but was also forced to resign, partly because of the unsupportive environment.

hypertexthero 10y ago

You can only work for people that you like. —https://www.miltonglaser.com/files/Essays-10things-8400.pdf https://www.miltonglaser.com/files/Essays-10things-8400.pdf

davidjnelson 10y ago

Any way to find common ground with this person? Maybe take walks with them and listen to what they have to say about anything at all or something? Maybe ask why they question your competence and how you can work together better in an informal way? Sometimes people are just assholes. Sometimes people are a lot alike and that actually causes friction. In those cases, it's possibly to transform a "rivalry" into a friendship if you work at it. But if they really are just an asshole, then ya, the advice in the other people's comments make sense. Just make sure you at least try to bridge the gap first. Otherwise, if they are a good person and the friction is not due to them really being an asshole, going to your manager or HR could end up drastically eroding the trust to the point of being irreparable.