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So many people here admitting they cry with an undertone that they feel various levels of bad for doing it. @donatj even said his wife makes fun of him when he
by Zelphyr 10y ago
So many people here admitting they cry with an undertone that they feel various levels of bad for doing it. @donatj even said his wife makes fun of him when he cries.
We have got to make this a non-issue. Its so insane to me that in Western culture someone isn't allowed to express a perfectly normal aspect of their physiology. Its like shaming someone for puking. It may not be pleasant but not doing it is way worse.
I sincerely believe we should be pushing back and HARD when we're shamed for crying. "We" being anyone because, lets face it, women are shamed for it too.
- brador 10y agoMaybe crying is seen as an intense emotion for rare occasions so when someone seems to be crying every weekday or over trivial things it demeans the powerfulness and impact of crying. Also because of it's reservation for truly impactful events random crying can seem fake or artificial. 'Attention whoring' as the kids like to call it. You cry at a funeral, you cry at getting a parking ticket. If you cry at both you're kinda putting them on the same level eh?
- thedz 10y ago> Maybe crying is seen as an intense emotion for rare occasions so when someone seems to be crying every weekday or over trivial things it demeans the powerfulness and impact of crying. Yes, I think that's the issue. Crying should not just be for rare events or an indication of extreme emotional distress. People cry for all sorts of reasons.
- brador 10y agoThen what do you do for the rare events?
- steve-howard 10y agoWhatever you feel like.
- ctrlalt_g 10y agoYou use the level 1 or 2 crying for normal stuff and you crank it up to a 4 or 5 for the rare occasions
- Zelphyr 10y agoSure, there are attention whores but the existence of an outlier of people doesn't seem to me to be a very good reason to shame most people for something that our bodies are designed to do. The parking ticket thing reminds me of a teenager I worked with once who got a speeding ticket. He started getting really choked up about it. To your point, was it really a big deal? So he got a speeding ticket. He should put his big-boy pants on, pay it and move on, right? Except, what we found out later was that he was crying because he knew what his abusive father was going to do when he got home. So yeah, sometimes they are on the same level. Context matters.
- facetube 10y agoThis. I'm a grown-ass adult and cried when my father left after visiting. Was it because I was too much of a wimp to be alone and needed my parents? No. It was the shock of having seen someone I'd known my whole life age noticeably, a feeling of simultaneous concern and powerlessness over an array of health concerns, and anticipatory grief centered around the certainty that he will one day die and we both will experience incredible pain as a result.
- GunboatDiplomat 10y agoI feel this way. I had little problem crying at the funeral of my grandpa. There are almost no other situations where I find it appropriate.
- jetcata 10y agoCan't agree more with you! I'm a woman and my family always shames me for crying - from when I was a teenager even until now in my middle age crying over the death of a family member. It's just absurd - they have called me things from weak to "sensitive" to "emotional" - but I know better now that crying is a totally normal and good emotion and ignore them. I wish these perceptions didn't exist though.