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>>>Ask If It’s Okay. You might have follow-up questions or a thought to add. Don’t assume I’m ready to, or want to, have a deep conversation about the issue rig

• kingkawn 10y ago
  If you try it will get easier quickly. What is a fearful burden to many becomes a place of ease for you, and a whole new population of people is suddenly available to speak to, like learning a new language.
• sangnoir 10y ago
  Let me recontextualize your statement > This is exact reason people do not want to go through, talking about getting a raise for many it is like walking on egg shells. Who wants to really do it? Not only people do not want to feel rejected, but also not be dragged into a drama or creating more drama If you're underpaid, you probably want to walk on those egg-shells ;). If everyone stayed in their comfort-zone, we'd all suffer from a sub-optimal status quo
• AndrewKemendo 10y ago
  Just don't ask. Curious about how race impacts someone's life? Spend time with them. It will become very obvious without you having to ask anything and you'll get the benefit of being able to empathize from seeing it first hand. Or, if you want to really try hard - work against your biological instinct to segment people into buckets based on physical attributes. Get to know who they see themselves as rather than how you see them by finding out what is important to them. Here is an easy start: Instead of asking "where are you from" a simple and innocuous question which reveals basically nothing about someone - ask "what kind of hobbies are you into?"
  • int_19h 10y ago
    If you don't ask, then you don't learn. If you don't learn, then you don't have the data and knowledge necessary to make decisions that affect this. And you're making those decisions every time you walk to the ballot box, at the very least.
    • AndrewKemendo 10y ago
      There are more ways to learn than asking. Like I said elsewhere, spend time with the person, get to know them. Make a new friend and experience their life. Chances are, those experiences dwarf anything else that they might care about. you don't have the data and knowledge necessary to make decisions that affect this What decisions are you making that are based on questions like "why do black people sit together at lunch?" Look, I get it. Everyone wants to dive deep within someone else experiences ostensibly to be able to relate better or whatever. There is no shortage of these stories to be read in books, online or elsewhere. Where in my opinion it crosses the line is when it's in the work environment. The only exception I can see for this is if your work revolves around deeply understanding or catering to a specific racial/other demographic that is not your own. That's problematic enough as it is, but in those cases it wouldn't be personal in the same way that these conversations seem to go. The whole thing is voyeuristic.
      • lizzard 10y ago
        Especially so when it is simple to look up what has been written about these kinds of questions. There is literally a book (quite well known) titled "Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria".
        • int_19h 10y ago
          I think that, if someone had to actually write a book like that (and it sells, so people do want to know), that kinda reinforces my point... ~
      • int_19h 10y ago