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I'm not the only one, I hear this from a lot of immigrants both from the old world and Latin America. I can't really explain it.

by bh23ha 17y ago

rdtsc 17y ago
Imagine having a best friend like you had when you were 5. You could play in the tree house, play video games all day, build stuff, ride bikes all across town, stay over their house, do everything together, talk about anything, once in a while have fights and arguments but then make up. Well it's kind of like that even when you are grown up. The way the society is structured might help develop these friendships or might prevent them. For example, were I was growing up (in ex Soviet Union), the school was structured such that you could end up being in the same class with mostly the same people for 12 years. Not just the same school -- but the same class. So if you never move (more on that later), you would end up knowing the same 30 people very well. One or two of them might become your good friends. Now school is just one factor, the other is how transient people are. It used to be that people would be born, grow up and live most of their lives in one city. That means you probably will still have your fiends from since you were 5 living in the same city. In some countries, people move more, mostly because of jobs I guess. It is very hard to form deep friendships when you are moving every 4 years. Yes, you have many acquaintances but not too many friends. I thought about this quite a bit. By now I lived half of my life in the "old world" and half in US. I can still skype, chat and email back and forth with my childhood buddies, but it is just not the same. I think good friendships need real face to face contact. I am making friends at work, but there is always an apprehension and competitiveness involved. They'll never be the same kind of friends I had growing up. Or maybe I became a different kind of person (too apprehensive, too withdrawn) that nobody would want to be best friends with ...?
dabent 17y ago
I've heard Americans (I'm American) complain about it, especially with their neighbors. We tend to stay holed up in our McMansions with the AC/Heat on and watch TV. Or we are the lone passenger in our car, listening to XM with the windows up. People often just don't get to know one another on a deep level. We also tend to move around a bit, which makes maintaining friendships hard. Now, that's not true for everyone, but it's been a lot of my experience.

I'm not the only one, I hear this from a lot of immigrants both from the old world and Latin America. I can't really explain it.

by bh23ha 17y ago

I'm not the only one, I hear this from a lot of immigrants both from the old world and Latin America. I can't really explain it.

rdtsc 17y ago

Imagine having a best friend like you had when you were 5. You could play in the tree house, play video games all day, build stuff, ride bikes all across town, stay over their house, do everything together, talk about anything, once in a while have fights and arguments but then make up. Well it's kind of like that even when you are grown up. The way the society is structured might help develop these friendships or might prevent them. For example, were I was growing up (in ex Soviet Union), the school was structured such that you could end up being in the same class with mostly the same people for 12 years. Not just the same school -- but the same class. So if you never move (more on that later), you would end up knowing the same 30 people very well. One or two of them might become your good friends. Now school is just one factor, the other is how transient people are. It used to be that people would be born, grow up and live most of their lives in one city. That means you probably will still have your fiends from since you were 5 living in the same city. In some countries, people move more, mostly because of jobs I guess. It is very hard to form deep friendships when you are moving every 4 years. Yes, you have many acquaintances but not too many friends. I thought about this quite a bit. By now I lived half of my life in the "old world" and half in US. I can still skype, chat and email back and forth with my childhood buddies, but it is just not the same. I think good friendships need real face to face contact. I am making friends at work, but there is always an apprehension and competitiveness involved. They'll never be the same kind of friends I had growing up. Or maybe I became a different kind of person (too apprehensive, too withdrawn) that nobody would want to be best friends with ...?

dabent 17y ago

I've heard Americans (I'm American) complain about it, especially with their neighbors. We tend to stay holed up in our McMansions with the AC/Heat on and watch TV. Or we are the lone passenger in our car, listening to XM with the windows up. People often just don't get to know one another on a deep level. We also tend to move around a bit, which makes maintaining friendships hard. Now, that's not true for everyone, but it's been a lot of my experience.