5 ms·

I'm not a sober alcoholic, I'm just a person that doesn't drink for a variety of reasons. I can tell you that this isn't just startups. It's our entire society.

by Apreche 10y ago

I'm not a sober alcoholic, I'm just a person that doesn't drink for a variety of reasons. I can tell you that this isn't just startups. It's our entire society. I work at a non-startup and there's a happy hour every Friday at the end of the day. Everyone else is VERY EXCITED for this Happy Hour. I'm still excited because we basically stop working, but not nearly as excited as everyone else. Even outside work, when I go to social gatherings, people are drinking. Drinking is the main attraction for most people. If I go to a meetup, I'm the only one who cares primarily about what the meetup is supposed to be about. Go to a concert, other people get drunk, I am the only one actually trying to enjoy the music. Even hanging with my friends watching a movie, I'm actually trying to pay attention to the movie, but for everyone else, they have to "enhance" the experience with some beverages. Go to any conference or convention? After-work party? These events are ALWAYS at bars. What am I supposed to do in a bar? It's the most uncomfortable place in the world to be for someone who doesn't drink. It's like someone who can't swim hanging out at the public pool. While not drinking makes social life, especially in NYC, a bit more difficult, I do not have the same experience as you. Nobody has ever been a dick to me about not drinking. They just accept it. I've had some people ask why, but that's fine. I'll just explain to them. I guess that might be more troubling if my reason was a past of alcoholism. I've never had anyone get mad or anything. So I think that aspect might just be an aspect of startup bro culture. Not that I needed another reason to never work for one.

draw_down 10y ago
Right, it's very strange to try to localize this to one industry, because drinking is the main way that adults socialize in society all over the world. I mean, I like it, so it's not a problem for me. But it is interesting how people minimize the dangers of it and exaggerate the problems of a much less harmful drug like cannabis.
Al-Khwarizmi 10y ago
What am I supposed to do in a bar? You can ask for a coffee, tea, a coke, alcohol-free beer, water, etc.
VLM 10y ago
"It's the most uncomfortable place in the world to be for someone who doesn't drink. It's like someone who can't swim hanging out at the public pool." No one can tell the difference between a rum and coke, and a coke. It works for me pretty well. We have some similar outlooks, and perhaps you'll find my sneaky idea to be useful. Its much easier to fake drinking than to fake swimming. I don't even have a variety of reasons not to drink. In the LSD community or whatever you want to call it there's a well known effect called the 50 trip limit or 100 trip limit or whatever number, after doing it 50 times you're either repeating because you never thought about it, or you're bored with the whole experience, or you're hopelessly addicted. Same with alcohol, at least for me. I've done it all, drank incredible amounts, stayed up all night, passed out, puked up gallons, made out, had all kinds of fascinating hangovers, its really an interesting, although fundamentally worthless, experience. I checked every square on the checklist. Once your inner completionist is satisfied, its really a very boring and unpleasant experience. And now that its boring, I just don't do it anymore. It isn't the kind of response that fits in 10 words or less at a bar. So I just order a coke and everyone assumes its a rum and coke.
- cmdrfred 10y ago
  That is my position as well. I've gotten black out drunk a few times and everywhere in between. It's just a boring drug.
  - munificent 10y ago
    Inebriation is certainly monotonous after a while, but there's a big difference between that and the world of beverages that happen to contain alcohol. People happily spent decades exploring different kinds of wine, beer, scotch, etc. and still don't feel they've run out of exciting new tastes and experiences.
    - cmdrfred 10y ago
      I've tried everything you have listed there. The high is the same for me and it all tastes like shit (literally, it is bacteria feces after all). If you enjoy it by all means, but pressuring someone else into it is silly. It's a drug like everything else.
etendue 10y ago
> What am I supposed to do in a bar? You can speak to the bartender/waiter (especially ahead of time) and ask them that despite asking for a rum and coke, you need a coke. They will be happy to help out (at least, they have been for me).

by Apreche 10y ago

draw_down 10y ago

Right, it's very strange to try to localize this to one industry, because drinking is the main way that adults socialize in society all over the world. I mean, I like it, so it's not a problem for me. But it is interesting how people minimize the dangers of it and exaggerate the problems of a much less harmful drug like cannabis.

Al-Khwarizmi 10y ago

What am I supposed to do in a bar? You can ask for a coffee, tea, a coke, alcohol-free beer, water, etc.

VLM 10y ago

"It's the most uncomfortable place in the world to be for someone who doesn't drink. It's like someone who can't swim hanging out at the public pool." No one can tell the difference between a rum and coke, and a coke. It works for me pretty well. We have some similar outlooks, and perhaps you'll find my sneaky idea to be useful. Its much easier to fake drinking than to fake swimming. I don't even have a variety of reasons not to drink. In the LSD community or whatever you want to call it there's a well known effect called the 50 trip limit or 100 trip limit or whatever number, after doing it 50 times you're either repeating because you never thought about it, or you're bored with the whole experience, or you're hopelessly addicted. Same with alcohol, at least for me. I've done it all, drank incredible amounts, stayed up all night, passed out, puked up gallons, made out, had all kinds of fascinating hangovers, its really an interesting, although fundamentally worthless, experience. I checked every square on the checklist. Once your inner completionist is satisfied, its really a very boring and unpleasant experience. And now that its boring, I just don't do it anymore. It isn't the kind of response that fits in 10 words or less at a bar. So I just order a coke and everyone assumes its a rum and coke.

cmdrfred 10y ago
That is my position as well. I've gotten black out drunk a few times and everywhere in between. It's just a boring drug.
- munificent 10y ago
  Inebriation is certainly monotonous after a while, but there's a big difference between that and the world of beverages that happen to contain alcohol. People happily spent decades exploring different kinds of wine, beer, scotch, etc. and still don't feel they've run out of exciting new tastes and experiences.
  - cmdrfred 10y ago
    I've tried everything you have listed there. The high is the same for me and it all tastes like shit (literally, it is bacteria feces after all). If you enjoy it by all means, but pressuring someone else into it is silly. It's a drug like everything else.

etendue 10y ago

> What am I supposed to do in a bar? You can speak to the bartender/waiter (especially ahead of time) and ask them that despite asking for a rum and coke, you need a coke. They will be happy to help out (at least, they have been for me).