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This is also the reason why I tend to stay away from Meetups/Startup events/recruiting events/etc. They tend to devolve into awkward situations for people like

by canistr 10y ago

This is also the reason why I tend to stay away from Meetups/Startup events/recruiting events/etc. They tend to devolve into awkward situations for people like myself who don't drink or don't want to waste time with the "oh really? you don't drink at all?" conversations. I'm not an alcoholic, but people consistently feel the need to dive into why I don't drink, choose not to, and have never had a drink. And as much as people here or anywhere may say that they either A) don't care whether I'm drinking or B) feel awkward around others who don't drink, the reality is that the culture is centred around whether you drink and how much.

cloudjacker 10y ago
People are curious because the answer to "why you don't drink" is usually a quite revealing fucked up reason. Prior alcoholism, court order, "yeast allergy". Its so RARELY because of the latest diet or preservation of your liver or religion that people are right often enough to consider it a red flag and want to know what fucked up reason you have.
- rimunroe 10y ago
  I think you are probably living in a bubble if you think that those reasons are rare. I'm in Boston (not the most diverse place) and I know a bunch of people in the local industry who don't drink for religious or dietary reasons. Moreover, two of the things you mentioned as being red flags (alcoholism and an allergy in scare quotes) aren't things I would ever consider red flags. If someone is an alcoholic and abstains from alcohol, that's probably a pretty good sign about the person! If someone claims a medical condition which prevents them from drinking, well, I'm not a doctor/health expert so I'm not going to judge that.
  - cloudjacker 10y ago
    I don't have a rebuttal, good observaton about me living in a bubble of upstanding intellectuals
- cmdrfred 10y ago
  I can tell from this comment you are likely a serious alcoholic. Get help.
waimbes 10y ago
> And as much as people here or anywhere may say that they either A) don't care whether I'm drinking or B) feel awkward around others who don't drink, the reality is that the culture is centred around whether you drink and how much. I really don't think this is true. It may feel that way to you because you end up interacting a lot with the small portion of people who do care, but, for the most part, people are very indifferent to how much others are drinking. Sometimes I go to things like this and drink, sometimes I don't drink, but because drinking is a non-issue to me I have never once been bothered by the environment. If someone asks why I'm not drinking I would just say something like "I have to be up early tomorrow," and that's it, issue resolved.
rjsw 10y ago
The stock answer in most places I know in Europe is to say that you can't drink because you have to drive afterwards. It doesn't have to be true but nobody will question it.
- sathackr 10y ago
  I don't see the need to lie about it. I don't drink because I don't like to drink. I don't like the taste, I don't like the feeling, and I don't like the aftermath. I don't drink coffee either, because I don't like the taste. Someone wouldn't have to lie about why they don't drink coffee, so why is alcohol any different? I'm told in both situations that "it's an acquired taste" -- that's nice, but I do not wish to acquire a taste for something I do not like.
- alonmower 10y ago
  This is why I love taking my motorcycle to any after hours work/professional events. I can not drink and no one questions it even for a second
rorykoehler 10y ago
The trick is to get one small beer and drink it all night. I do this all the time because I like to be out socialising and sometimes because it has professional benefits too but I do find it strange to base it around taking what is essentially a hard drug.
klenwell 10y ago
That sounds like a more interesting conversation than most the ones I have at these types of events. Even though I am a social drinker, I may give it up just so that I can use it as an icebreaker. "No, I don't drink any longer. Strictly for the sake of small talk, really. But you say you do drink? Tell me about your history of drinking. Is it a long one?"

by canistr 10y ago

cloudjacker 10y ago

People are curious because the answer to "why you don't drink" is usually a quite revealing fucked up reason. Prior alcoholism, court order, "yeast allergy". Its so RARELY because of the latest diet or preservation of your liver or religion that people are right often enough to consider it a red flag and want to know what fucked up reason you have.

rimunroe 10y ago
I think you are probably living in a bubble if you think that those reasons are rare. I'm in Boston (not the most diverse place) and I know a bunch of people in the local industry who don't drink for religious or dietary reasons. Moreover, two of the things you mentioned as being red flags (alcoholism and an allergy in scare quotes) aren't things I would ever consider red flags. If someone is an alcoholic and abstains from alcohol, that's probably a pretty good sign about the person! If someone claims a medical condition which prevents them from drinking, well, I'm not a doctor/health expert so I'm not going to judge that.
- cloudjacker 10y ago
  I don't have a rebuttal, good observaton about me living in a bubble of upstanding intellectuals
cmdrfred 10y ago
I can tell from this comment you are likely a serious alcoholic. Get help.

waimbes 10y ago

> And as much as people here or anywhere may say that they either A) don't care whether I'm drinking or B) feel awkward around others who don't drink, the reality is that the culture is centred around whether you drink and how much. I really don't think this is true. It may feel that way to you because you end up interacting a lot with the small portion of people who do care, but, for the most part, people are very indifferent to how much others are drinking. Sometimes I go to things like this and drink, sometimes I don't drink, but because drinking is a non-issue to me I have never once been bothered by the environment. If someone asks why I'm not drinking I would just say something like "I have to be up early tomorrow," and that's it, issue resolved.

rjsw 10y ago

The stock answer in most places I know in Europe is to say that you can't drink because you have to drive afterwards. It doesn't have to be true but nobody will question it.

sathackr 10y ago
I don't see the need to lie about it. I don't drink because I don't like to drink. I don't like the taste, I don't like the feeling, and I don't like the aftermath. I don't drink coffee either, because I don't like the taste. Someone wouldn't have to lie about why they don't drink coffee, so why is alcohol any different? I'm told in both situations that "it's an acquired taste" -- that's nice, but I do not wish to acquire a taste for something I do not like.
alonmower 10y ago
This is why I love taking my motorcycle to any after hours work/professional events. I can not drink and no one questions it even for a second

rorykoehler 10y ago

The trick is to get one small beer and drink it all night. I do this all the time because I like to be out socialising and sometimes because it has professional benefits too but I do find it strange to base it around taking what is essentially a hard drug.

klenwell 10y ago

That sounds like a more interesting conversation than most the ones I have at these types of events. Even though I am a social drinker, I may give it up just so that I can use it as an icebreaker. "No, I don't drink any longer. Strictly for the sake of small talk, really. But you say you do drink? Tell me about your history of drinking. Is it a long one?"