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> There are no useless parents, only parents who need help. You honestly belive all parents, even child abusing parents are just good parents that need a littl

• toomuchtodo 10y ago
  I believe that "truly useless" parents are a minority compared to the cohort of parents who have mental illness issues in general. My mother was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned our family because she couldn't get the help she needed. She wasn't a bad person, just someone who couldn't get the medical and counseling services needed to cope with previous life experiences that enabled her addiction.
  • steve19 10y ago
    Sorry to hear about your mother. Do you have a relationship with her now?
    • toomuchtodo 10y ago
      No need to be sorry! My issue with the US medical/insurance complex. I do; she's disabled and I support her in her old age. While it doesn't change the past, she's apologized for not being able to get the help she needed and for how she behaved. Have to give people the benefit of the doubt. To hold onto the coal of anger only burns yourself.
      • steve19 10y ago
        That's good to hear! You have a good attitude.
        • toomuchtodo 10y ago
          I appreciate the kind words. I'd like to think life is the rock tumbler that polishes us into precious stone.
          • cmdrfred 10y ago
            My mother is an alcoholic, my father was a meth addict. I'm curious why you decided to help her in her old age? If it's not to personal of course. My thoughts are If they didn't wish to help me when I was at my most vulnerable why have any concern for them? I've always felt that turnabout is fair play.
            • steve19 10y ago
              I am also sorry to hear about your situation :( I am not the OP, but my guess is s/he benefits more from it than the parent does. As the old adage says ... "Anger/hate/unforgiveness is like drinking poison, expecting the other person to die." Please understand I am not judging you at all. To be honest I don't know if I would look after an abusive parent or spouse. I would like to say I would ... but truth be told I don't know. What I do know forgiveness is a wonderful thing, and the forgiver gets way more out of it than the person who is forgiven. So much pain and conflict in this world is stems from humankinds seemingly innate inability to forgive, sometimes even after centuries have passed. Edit: I don't know why you were downvoted and don't think you should have. If it helps, my posts in this thread have been heavily downvoted.
              • toomuchtodo 10y ago
                OP here. You're correct. I TL;DRd it here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11727617 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11727617 Also upvoted both of you FWIW.
            • toomuchtodo 10y ago
              > My mother is an alcoholic, my father was a meth addict. I'm curious why you decided to help her in her old age? Compassion, and peace with the way life occurs. I hope you find peace one day as well.
              • cmdrfred 10y ago
                Perhaps you may be a better man than I.