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I think it's interesting that you phrase things the way you do in your first paragraph. When I moved to California for college from a cold place, I was young an

by kaitai 10y ago

I think it's interesting that you phrase things the way you do in your first paragraph. When I moved to California for college from a cold place, I was young and female. (Still female, less young now). Sometimes in southern California it gets very hot. A logical response to heat if you want to be outside is to wear a tank top. So sometimes I would wear a tank top. This would be interpreted as being "locked in competition with other young women to attract some cute guys" -- which was creepy to me, because it's putting a whole layer of sexual intent on wearing a tank top when it's 100 degrees that was not present in the clothing choice. This sexualized interpretation by random guys did increase the likelihood of encounters with high creepiness factors as described in the article. It is really hard to find a tank top that doesn't show cleavage if you are a certain shape. Tank tops are not always about a struggle for cute young men: these boobs are stuck to the front of me no matter what I'm thinking or doing, and their presence is not a sign of interest. To assume otherwise causes creepiness.

deleted 10y ago
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vithlani 10y ago
Thank you for posting this. This is exactly how I felt about my "sexualised interpretation" towards a lady in a similar situation -- I felt it was wrong on my part and I felt incredibly guilty about it and that I was a creep. And then we found out that she was doing it deliberately: in chill winter she would wear an overcoat which came off in the lecture hall to reveal shorts and a tank top. Let us not even mention the labs. Also, She had begun a relationship with a friend of mine just so that he could do her assignments for her and generally be her flunky. When he realized this was her purpose, he managed to get out of it. So she moved on to a much, much smarter dude who had no problem with the nature of the relationship and openly took advantage of it. My friend went through mental trauma, which is totally understandable -- nerds do not EVER get to go out with women of this caliber, to us all it was some kind of miracle. As time passed, it emerged that she was also using the same approach on some profs. Of course she passed with flying grades and I am certain she is now vice-president of something or the other and having an increasingly comfortable life. This is not meant it any way as an accusation against any particular sex or stereotype. In this sort of a situation is there a measurement of creepiness that applies? Who is the creep?

by kaitai 10y ago

deleted 10y ago

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vithlani 10y ago

Thank you for posting this. This is exactly how I felt about my "sexualised interpretation" towards a lady in a similar situation -- I felt it was wrong on my part and I felt incredibly guilty about it and that I was a creep. And then we found out that she was doing it deliberately: in chill winter she would wear an overcoat which came off in the lecture hall to reveal shorts and a tank top. Let us not even mention the labs. Also, She had begun a relationship with a friend of mine just so that he could do her assignments for her and generally be her flunky. When he realized this was her purpose, he managed to get out of it. So she moved on to a much, much smarter dude who had no problem with the nature of the relationship and openly took advantage of it. My friend went through mental trauma, which is totally understandable -- nerds do not EVER get to go out with women of this caliber, to us all it was some kind of miracle. As time passed, it emerged that she was also using the same approach on some profs. Of course she passed with flying grades and I am certain she is now vice-president of something or the other and having an increasingly comfortable life. This is not meant it any way as an accusation against any particular sex or stereotype. In this sort of a situation is there a measurement of creepiness that applies? Who is the creep?