3 ms·

If one has a personal preference, that's OK to exercise passively, but holing yourself up in a segregated community is rather anachronistic. You clearly do not

If one has a personal preference, that's OK to exercise passively, but holing yourself up in a segregated community is rather anachronistic. You clearly do not belong to any minority, because if you did, you would understand how incredibly nice it is to be in an environment where you're not. A lot of people that belong to a minority clearly see value in services that target their niche, and it's very difficult to explain this to people that don't. There is an ocean of difference between targeting a niche, and discriminating a group. A race-specific bar, i.e. one that targets a race or culture or nationality or sexuality is perfectly ok. Denying service to a group is not ok, that's discrimination, but that's not what we're talking about here. The niche dating sites we were discussing aren't discriminating, they're targeting a niche, and that has to be ok. No, because dating is entirely about sexual orientation. Straight men date straight women. Gay men date gay men. And so on. When it comes to race, however, that argument doesn't hold up. Yes it does, because dating is about physical attraction for most people, and unless you are extremely desperate, you have physical preferences. Some people likes blondes. Some people like brunettes. Some people like black hair. Is that bad? Some people like whites, some people like blacks, some people like asians. Is that bad? Is that racism? Should we condemn it? How?!? And since some people have those preferences, why not have niche dating sites that caters to them?

_delirium 17y ago
I don't think everyone finds it "incredibly nice". There is strong social pressure from a lot of minority groups for people who "belong" to the group to conform to certain social expectations with regard to the group. If they don't, they're often seen as essentially race traitors, and there's lots of abuse directed at them. This is even true for non-physically-noticeable subgroups, e.g. Russian-Americans who choose not to associate with the Russian-American community or its institutions, but it's worse for people who are visibly part of a subgroup that they choose not to be an active part of.
petercooper 17y ago
You clearly do not belong to any minority Unless you're demographically perfect in some way, everyone belongs to a minority in some way or another. I'm a rare southerner in a northern town - I don't want to socialize with "other" southerners, because that has nothing to do with my identity. I don't see a need to fraternize with people who are "like" me, beyond sharing a language and them not being religious nutcases. The niche dating sites we were discussing aren't discriminating, they're targeting a niche, and that has to be ok. Even when they say things like "exclusively for black people" (e.g. http://allblackdating.com/ http://allblackdating.com/)? Some people likes blondes. Some people like brunettes. Some people like black hair. Is that bad? You can exercise preferences within open systems. It doesn't require discriminatory silos. The concept of a dating site "exclusively for blondes" is as ridiculous as a dating site "exclusively for whites." If you have preferences (and, sure, we all do) you can filter and exercise those within larger, non discriminatory systems like OKCupid. Some people like whites, some people like blacks, some people like asians. Is that bad? Is that racism? Often. If I didn't want to hire an Asian because I didn't "like Asians", that would be racist. If I didn't like a particular Asian for some reason, that's not (necessarily) racist. I understand that people might have preferences on the race of people they date, but closing their minds to even seeing people of other races come up on their dating site sends a bad signal.

_delirium 17y ago

I don't think everyone finds it "incredibly nice". There is strong social pressure from a lot of minority groups for people who "belong" to the group to conform to certain social expectations with regard to the group. If they don't, they're often seen as essentially race traitors, and there's lots of abuse directed at them. This is even true for non-physically-noticeable subgroups, e.g. Russian-Americans who choose not to associate with the Russian-American community or its institutions, but it's worse for people who are visibly part of a subgroup that they choose not to be an active part of.

petercooper 17y ago

You clearly do not belong to any minority Unless you're demographically perfect in some way, everyone belongs to a minority in some way or another. I'm a rare southerner in a northern town - I don't want to socialize with "other" southerners, because that has nothing to do with my identity. I don't see a need to fraternize with people who are "like" me, beyond sharing a language and them not being religious nutcases. The niche dating sites we were discussing aren't discriminating, they're targeting a niche, and that has to be ok. Even when they say things like "exclusively for black people" (e.g. http://allblackdating.com/ http://allblackdating.com/)? Some people likes blondes. Some people like brunettes. Some people like black hair. Is that bad? You can exercise preferences within open systems. It doesn't require discriminatory silos. The concept of a dating site "exclusively for blondes" is as ridiculous as a dating site "exclusively for whites." If you have preferences (and, sure, we all do) you can filter and exercise those within larger, non discriminatory systems like OKCupid. Some people like whites, some people like blacks, some people like asians. Is that bad? Is that racism? Often. If I didn't want to hire an Asian because I didn't "like Asians", that would be racist. If I didn't like a particular Asian for some reason, that's not (necessarily) racist. I understand that people might have preferences on the race of people they date, but closing their minds to even seeing people of other races come up on their dating site sends a bad signal.