2 ms·

Or, maybe, it's the suitor's ability to recognize rejection.

• jandrese 11y ago
  That would certainly be part of it. Rejecting being the signalling mechanism that the second party uses to communicate their lack of interest to the first party.
• kaitai 11y ago
  Recognize rejection, and then not retaliate. A flirter who flirts with me and makes it clear it's all in good fun, there's no pressure for more, if I need to go catch a bus I'm not an unfeeling b*^%$, if I don't feel like smiling/flirting it's ok; a flirter who makes me feel confident he's not going to call me names in public or follow me around for a week due to a pleasant interaction -- not creepy. A flirter who keeps pressing on despite signs of discomfort, who doesn't leave me alone, who tries to imply I owe him something, who starts making grand plans for the future based on a few sentences interaction, who calls me names if I have to catch the bus -- creepy. These are all a little unpredictable (smiling conversation at a bar with a stranger, "Gotta go -- nice to chat!", sudden eruption of debasing language, for instance) as well as having high scores for other creepy factors identified in the paper. A little test for yourself: flirt for enjoyment and then walk away with no expectation of ever talking to the person again. Can you do it? Practiced non-creepy flirters can do this well.