7 ms·

There is a large class of "creepy" which covers men creeping on women. In that case your formulation is correct, but I would reword it as "you're too focused on

There is a large class of "creepy" which covers men creeping on women. In that case your formulation is correct, but I would reword it as "you're too focused on something you want, my ass and cleavage for instance, that I am locked in competition with other young women to attract some cute guys--that's why we've left left them only scantily and barely clad--but that guy is not you and your leers make me feel self conscious." Another big class of creepy which works in both gender directions but because men are more threatening (for size if no other reason like testosterone) perhaps seems more one way is, "you seem or are desperate for friendship so you over interpret every little thing I do as a genuine or encouraging bond between us and you overdo your reactions" But I'm not sure what else people might want that would fall into the same category. Salespeople, for instance, can seem "oily" but not usually creepy.

matt4077 10y ago
You think there's never been a women without cleavage being stalked? You think it's women's fault when they get 'Hey MILF,wanna meet after work?' comments?
- sheepleherd 10y ago
  First, I was responding not to either the study in question, nor to a question of harassment or stalking, I was trying to make sense of the formulation the PP made about somebody wanting something from somebody to see if I could square it with my experience in the world; I qualified what I said with "for instance", not "for all instances" In terms of what I said, I'm actually not saying anything is anybody's "fault" nor that a transgression had transpired. I'm saying people interact as they have always done through history and some interactions are termed creepy by some of the parties. I was actually allowing for a sexually alluring woman to feel creeped by some attention but not all attention rather than saying it was her fault or that all interactions fit this mold. Of course individuals can be creepier than avg and individuals can be creeped more than avg, and if you get far enough from average it becomes excessive. I was simply testing the formulation that the PP suggested. There are people with socialization issues (psychiatric) such that they frequently get termed creepy, and there are people who more frequently experience the feeling of being "creeped out". It's worthy of study. In addition to being creeped out, other people such as yourself more frequently can experience feeling "shocked, shocked" and outraged.
- dang 10y ago
  Please don't take an uncharitable interpretation of someone else's comment and then attack them. That's two steps in the wrong direction.
nailer 10y ago
My definition is related to yours, but is closer to the articles. FTA: > It is our belief that creepiness is anxiety aroused by the ambiguity of whether there is something to fear or not You mentioned: > you're too focused on something you want, my ass and cleavage for instance You can be focused on ass and cleavage, but not be creepy: eg, if you're honest and open that that's what you're looking for, and not trying to hide or be something you're not. Creepiness occurs where that ambiguity exists: there's a discrepancy between someones evident intent and actions. - If someone's trying to get you away from your friends, with a 'cool thing you need to see', but they clearly want to make out, it's creepy. - If they say 'I think we should go somewhere and make out' it's less so. A lot of creepiness comes from shy men who are afraid of rejection, other comes from shy men that understand, eg, that isolation makes people more likely to make out, but try and use subterfuge to make that happen.
- sheepleherd 10y ago
  yes, as I said in my other response to somebody else, I was not trying to explain the study, I was trying to test out the PP's suggestion about "somebody wanting something from somebody"
- JadeNB 10y ago
  > You can be focused on ass and cleavage, but not be creepy: eg, if you're honest and open that that's what you're looking for, and not trying to hide or be something you're not. I suppose that I believe the first part of your sentence, but I don't think that the second elaborates on it sufficiently. A guy who wore a sign saying "I am focussed on ass and cleavage!" and stared at those attributes of all women in the vicinity would, I think, still be creepy. (Maybe I am just using the word in a different sense.) I think that it is important to be open and honest about your intentions, but also to be willing to respect others' right to reject those intentions.
  - nailer 10y ago
    Oh yeah, totally. I think respecting other people is a given, but then again, maybe common sense isn't that common. I'm talking about someone who discusses making out after previous escalations have been welcomed.
kaitai 10y ago
I think it's interesting that you phrase things the way you do in your first paragraph. When I moved to California for college from a cold place, I was young and female. (Still female, less young now). Sometimes in southern California it gets very hot. A logical response to heat if you want to be outside is to wear a tank top. So sometimes I would wear a tank top. This would be interpreted as being "locked in competition with other young women to attract some cute guys" -- which was creepy to me, because it's putting a whole layer of sexual intent on wearing a tank top when it's 100 degrees that was not present in the clothing choice. This sexualized interpretation by random guys did increase the likelihood of encounters with high creepiness factors as described in the article. It is really hard to find a tank top that doesn't show cleavage if you are a certain shape. Tank tops are not always about a struggle for cute young men: these boobs are stuck to the front of me no matter what I'm thinking or doing, and their presence is not a sign of interest. To assume otherwise causes creepiness.
- deleted 10y ago
  [deleted]
- vithlani 10y ago
  Thank you for posting this. This is exactly how I felt about my "sexualised interpretation" towards a lady in a similar situation -- I felt it was wrong on my part and I felt incredibly guilty about it and that I was a creep. And then we found out that she was doing it deliberately: in chill winter she would wear an overcoat which came off in the lecture hall to reveal shorts and a tank top. Let us not even mention the labs. Also, She had begun a relationship with a friend of mine just so that he could do her assignments for her and generally be her flunky. When he realized this was her purpose, he managed to get out of it. So she moved on to a much, much smarter dude who had no problem with the nature of the relationship and openly took advantage of it. My friend went through mental trauma, which is totally understandable -- nerds do not EVER get to go out with women of this caliber, to us all it was some kind of miracle. As time passed, it emerged that she was also using the same approach on some profs. Of course she passed with flying grades and I am certain she is now vice-president of something or the other and having an increasingly comfortable life. This is not meant it any way as an accusation against any particular sex or stereotype. In this sort of a situation is there a measurement of creepiness that applies? Who is the creep?

matt4077 10y ago

You think there's never been a women without cleavage being stalked? You think it's women's fault when they get 'Hey MILF,wanna meet after work?' comments?

sheepleherd 10y ago
First, I was responding not to either the study in question, nor to a question of harassment or stalking, I was trying to make sense of the formulation the PP made about somebody wanting something from somebody to see if I could square it with my experience in the world; I qualified what I said with "for instance", not "for all instances" In terms of what I said, I'm actually not saying anything is anybody's "fault" nor that a transgression had transpired. I'm saying people interact as they have always done through history and some interactions are termed creepy by some of the parties. I was actually allowing for a sexually alluring woman to feel creeped by some attention but not all attention rather than saying it was her fault or that all interactions fit this mold. Of course individuals can be creepier than avg and individuals can be creeped more than avg, and if you get far enough from average it becomes excessive. I was simply testing the formulation that the PP suggested. There are people with socialization issues (psychiatric) such that they frequently get termed creepy, and there are people who more frequently experience the feeling of being "creeped out". It's worthy of study. In addition to being creeped out, other people such as yourself more frequently can experience feeling "shocked, shocked" and outraged.
dang 10y ago
Please don't take an uncharitable interpretation of someone else's comment and then attack them. That's two steps in the wrong direction.

nailer 10y ago

My definition is related to yours, but is closer to the articles. FTA: > It is our belief that creepiness is anxiety aroused by the ambiguity of whether there is something to fear or not You mentioned: > you're too focused on something you want, my ass and cleavage for instance You can be focused on ass and cleavage, but not be creepy: eg, if you're honest and open that that's what you're looking for, and not trying to hide or be something you're not. Creepiness occurs where that ambiguity exists: there's a discrepancy between someones evident intent and actions. - If someone's trying to get you away from your friends, with a 'cool thing you need to see', but they clearly want to make out, it's creepy. - If they say 'I think we should go somewhere and make out' it's less so. A lot of creepiness comes from shy men who are afraid of rejection, other comes from shy men that understand, eg, that isolation makes people more likely to make out, but try and use subterfuge to make that happen.

sheepleherd 10y ago
yes, as I said in my other response to somebody else, I was not trying to explain the study, I was trying to test out the PP's suggestion about "somebody wanting something from somebody"
JadeNB 10y ago
> You can be focused on ass and cleavage, but not be creepy: eg, if you're honest and open that that's what you're looking for, and not trying to hide or be something you're not. I suppose that I believe the first part of your sentence, but I don't think that the second elaborates on it sufficiently. A guy who wore a sign saying "I am focussed on ass and cleavage!" and stared at those attributes of all women in the vicinity would, I think, still be creepy. (Maybe I am just using the word in a different sense.) I think that it is important to be open and honest about your intentions, but also to be willing to respect others' right to reject those intentions.
- nailer 10y ago
  Oh yeah, totally. I think respecting other people is a given, but then again, maybe common sense isn't that common. I'm talking about someone who discusses making out after previous escalations have been welcomed.

kaitai 10y ago

I think it's interesting that you phrase things the way you do in your first paragraph. When I moved to California for college from a cold place, I was young and female. (Still female, less young now). Sometimes in southern California it gets very hot. A logical response to heat if you want to be outside is to wear a tank top. So sometimes I would wear a tank top. This would be interpreted as being "locked in competition with other young women to attract some cute guys" -- which was creepy to me, because it's putting a whole layer of sexual intent on wearing a tank top when it's 100 degrees that was not present in the clothing choice. This sexualized interpretation by random guys did increase the likelihood of encounters with high creepiness factors as described in the article. It is really hard to find a tank top that doesn't show cleavage if you are a certain shape. Tank tops are not always about a struggle for cute young men: these boobs are stuck to the front of me no matter what I'm thinking or doing, and their presence is not a sign of interest. To assume otherwise causes creepiness.

deleted 10y ago
[deleted]
vithlani 10y ago
Thank you for posting this. This is exactly how I felt about my "sexualised interpretation" towards a lady in a similar situation -- I felt it was wrong on my part and I felt incredibly guilty about it and that I was a creep. And then we found out that she was doing it deliberately: in chill winter she would wear an overcoat which came off in the lecture hall to reveal shorts and a tank top. Let us not even mention the labs. Also, She had begun a relationship with a friend of mine just so that he could do her assignments for her and generally be her flunky. When he realized this was her purpose, he managed to get out of it. So she moved on to a much, much smarter dude who had no problem with the nature of the relationship and openly took advantage of it. My friend went through mental trauma, which is totally understandable -- nerds do not EVER get to go out with women of this caliber, to us all it was some kind of miracle. As time passed, it emerged that she was also using the same approach on some profs. Of course she passed with flying grades and I am certain she is now vice-president of something or the other and having an increasingly comfortable life. This is not meant it any way as an accusation against any particular sex or stereotype. In this sort of a situation is there a measurement of creepiness that applies? Who is the creep?