4 ms·

Also, I can't speak from any racial perspective than that of a white man, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to date a woman who joined a whites-only dating si

Also, I can't speak from any racial perspective than that of a white man, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to date a woman who joined a whites-only dating site, and most of the women I've dated or been interested in dating haven't been white anyway.

byrneseyeview 17y ago
Why is that? Would you refuse to date a Jewish woman who had signed up on Jdate? (Assume you met her outside of Jdate.)
- pw0ncakes 17y ago
  I'm not Jewish, so her willingness to date me would indicate that she's fairly open-minded. However, I think it's different when it's a "white people only" site because "white" isn't really an ethnicity or a single culture, so a person who would sign up for such a site is indicating an interest in skin color/race on its own, which is a bit crass. I don't have a problem with someone who is Jewish who wants to date only people who grew up in the same tradition (although I'm obviously not a match for her). For contrast, "white" isn't a culture or ethnicity; it's just a skin color. I have nothing in common with most people who would be identified as "white".
  - byrneseyeview 17y ago
    I guess we can keep on refining this. I know secular Jews who were raised by secular parents, who have jdate profiles. What if, e.g., you're Norwegian and she's Polish, and she joins PoleDate.com. She obviously wants to date white people, but she's also open-minded enough to date a strange Northern barbarian. If people who identify as various shades of not-white all have something in common, it would be unlikely for people who identify as white not to. Stuffwhitepeoplelike isn't Stuffblackpeopleandhispanicpeopleandasiansdontlike.
    - randallsquared 17y ago
      Er, stuffwhitepeoplelike is supposed to be funny precisely because there is no stereotype of what white people really like, isn't it?
      - byrneseyeview 17y ago
        I don't think so. In some conservative circles "SWPLs" is a shorthand for "White people who like sushi and NPR (and decry racism despite living in gated communities)".
        pw0ncakes 17y ago
        I thought that abbreviation was particular to the MRA scene.
        count 17y ago
        Common misconception: Gates don't keep black/colored people out, they keep poor people out.
        byrneseyeview 17y ago
        In my experience, modulo cleaning staff that's the same thing.
  - nkurz 17y ago
    Since we're vaguely on the topic of 'identity', and hopefully deeply enough in a thread not to be in anyone else's way, I'll toss in an offtopic reaction to 'pw0ncakes'. In this thread and others, your comments are solid and intelligent. I want to vote them up. But your username throws me: it's probably intended as parody, but for me it still signifies irreverent 'script-kiddie', whether ironic or not. So while you're welcome to choose your own online identity, and while other people might be better able to disassociate your content from your username, you might want to consider whether your chosen name sends the message you want to be sending. If it already does, well, more power to you! Apologies for the impropriety.
    - araneae 17y ago
      If he's trying to sell his start-up, then maybe he should pick a different name (and even then, it really wouldn't bother me) But he hasn't got a link in his profile, nor is he self-posting, so why should he care what message he's sending?
    - jmillikin 17y ago
      If you're interested, I've written a Greasemonkey script at < http://userscripts.org/scripts/review/67722 http://userscripts.org/scripts/review/67722 > to remove usernames. I find they add unnecessary sources of potential bias to what are otherwise relatively anonymous comments.
  - astine 17y ago
    Just because they are on a white people only site doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't open minded. I might, but it could just as well be that they are attempting to broaden their exposure simply by visiting more sites. It's possible that 'whites only' dating site would attract a wealthier demographic, which would make it an attractive place to look for a partner even if one wasn't especially racist..
  - petercooper 17y ago
    because "white" isn't really an ethnicity or a single culture I know you're focusing on the "Jewish" route, but neither is "black" by that benchmark. Some guy from the middle of the Sudan shares as little (or less) cultural or ethnic heritage with a black guy of Jamaican descent living in Los Angeles.. as an average white Russian does with an average white American. "Black" means as many things as "white" does. "Jewish" does too, though not to quite as wide a gamut (but compare a black Ethiopian Jew to a Zionist from the Jewish Autonomous Oblast - the shared "culture" or "ethnicity" there is stretched almost to breaking point away from religion).
- dkarl 17y ago
  I think people draw a distinction, valid or not, between "looking for similar people" and "excluding different people." The former is seen as more acceptable. For a group that is a small percentage of the population, a niche dating site is acceptable because it helps them find other people in that group. For a group that is a large percentage of the population, any generic dating site will help them find other people in the same group, so a niche site only makes sense as a tool of exclusion.
PostOnce 17y ago
Here's the thing: Publicly racist white-supremacists are almost always poor, ignorant, and ugly.* Any video you see of the KKK will have some yokel standing in front of a trailer (hilarious amount of garbage strewn across the yard included), overdue for a shave and a shower, proclaiming the greatness of a race he barely belongs to. I know more than a few racist doctors, lawyers, and architects, but they wouldn't go within miles of a racist organization. Those people just aren't of the same class. It's also an enormous waste of time. So is your issue the fact that they're racist, or the fact that they're underclass racists? There is a distinction to be made. Does exclusively dating white people make you racist if you are in no other way racist? I know a girl from New Zealand who is greatly offended by racist remarks and attitudes, but who would never actually date someone outside her race. I suppose that no more makes you racist than not dating men makes you a homophobe (if you're a man, obviously). *Go read stormfront sometime, it'll disturb you, regardless of how racist you may or may not be, and you'll discover the underclass that I speak of. Erudition & social refinement do not exist there.

byrneseyeview 17y ago

Why is that? Would you refuse to date a Jewish woman who had signed up on Jdate? (Assume you met her outside of Jdate.)

pw0ncakes 17y ago
I'm not Jewish, so her willingness to date me would indicate that she's fairly open-minded. However, I think it's different when it's a "white people only" site because "white" isn't really an ethnicity or a single culture, so a person who would sign up for such a site is indicating an interest in skin color/race on its own, which is a bit crass. I don't have a problem with someone who is Jewish who wants to date only people who grew up in the same tradition (although I'm obviously not a match for her). For contrast, "white" isn't a culture or ethnicity; it's just a skin color. I have nothing in common with most people who would be identified as "white".
- byrneseyeview 17y ago
  I guess we can keep on refining this. I know secular Jews who were raised by secular parents, who have jdate profiles. What if, e.g., you're Norwegian and she's Polish, and she joins PoleDate.com. She obviously wants to date white people, but she's also open-minded enough to date a strange Northern barbarian. If people who identify as various shades of not-white all have something in common, it would be unlikely for people who identify as white not to. Stuffwhitepeoplelike isn't Stuffblackpeopleandhispanicpeopleandasiansdontlike.
  - randallsquared 17y ago
    Er, stuffwhitepeoplelike is supposed to be funny precisely because there is no stereotype of what white people really like, isn't it?
    - byrneseyeview 17y ago
      I don't think so. In some conservative circles "SWPLs" is a shorthand for "White people who like sushi and NPR (and decry racism despite living in gated communities)".
      - pw0ncakes 17y ago
        I thought that abbreviation was particular to the MRA scene.
      - count 17y ago
        Common misconception: Gates don't keep black/colored people out, they keep poor people out.
        byrneseyeview 17y ago
        In my experience, modulo cleaning staff that's the same thing.
- nkurz 17y ago
  Since we're vaguely on the topic of 'identity', and hopefully deeply enough in a thread not to be in anyone else's way, I'll toss in an offtopic reaction to 'pw0ncakes'. In this thread and others, your comments are solid and intelligent. I want to vote them up. But your username throws me: it's probably intended as parody, but for me it still signifies irreverent 'script-kiddie', whether ironic or not. So while you're welcome to choose your own online identity, and while other people might be better able to disassociate your content from your username, you might want to consider whether your chosen name sends the message you want to be sending. If it already does, well, more power to you! Apologies for the impropriety.
  - araneae 17y ago
    If he's trying to sell his start-up, then maybe he should pick a different name (and even then, it really wouldn't bother me) But he hasn't got a link in his profile, nor is he self-posting, so why should he care what message he's sending?
  - jmillikin 17y ago
    If you're interested, I've written a Greasemonkey script at < http://userscripts.org/scripts/review/67722 http://userscripts.org/scripts/review/67722 > to remove usernames. I find they add unnecessary sources of potential bias to what are otherwise relatively anonymous comments.
- astine 17y ago
  Just because they are on a white people only site doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't open minded. I might, but it could just as well be that they are attempting to broaden their exposure simply by visiting more sites. It's possible that 'whites only' dating site would attract a wealthier demographic, which would make it an attractive place to look for a partner even if one wasn't especially racist..
- petercooper 17y ago
  because "white" isn't really an ethnicity or a single culture I know you're focusing on the "Jewish" route, but neither is "black" by that benchmark. Some guy from the middle of the Sudan shares as little (or less) cultural or ethnic heritage with a black guy of Jamaican descent living in Los Angeles.. as an average white Russian does with an average white American. "Black" means as many things as "white" does. "Jewish" does too, though not to quite as wide a gamut (but compare a black Ethiopian Jew to a Zionist from the Jewish Autonomous Oblast - the shared "culture" or "ethnicity" there is stretched almost to breaking point away from religion).
dkarl 17y ago
I think people draw a distinction, valid or not, between "looking for similar people" and "excluding different people." The former is seen as more acceptable. For a group that is a small percentage of the population, a niche dating site is acceptable because it helps them find other people in that group. For a group that is a large percentage of the population, any generic dating site will help them find other people in the same group, so a niche site only makes sense as a tool of exclusion.

PostOnce 17y ago

Here's the thing: Publicly racist white-supremacists are almost always poor, ignorant, and ugly.* Any video you see of the KKK will have some yokel standing in front of a trailer (hilarious amount of garbage strewn across the yard included), overdue for a shave and a shower, proclaiming the greatness of a race he barely belongs to. I know more than a few racist doctors, lawyers, and architects, but they wouldn't go within miles of a racist organization. Those people just aren't of the same class. It's also an enormous waste of time. So is your issue the fact that they're racist, or the fact that they're underclass racists? There is a distinction to be made. Does exclusively dating white people make you racist if you are in no other way racist? I know a girl from New Zealand who is greatly offended by racist remarks and attitudes, but who would never actually date someone outside her race. I suppose that no more makes you racist than not dating men makes you a homophobe (if you're a man, obviously). *Go read stormfront sometime, it'll disturb you, regardless of how racist you may or may not be, and you'll discover the underclass that I speak of. Erudition & social refinement do not exist there.