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I'm sure you don't mean to do so, but you shouldn't compare black women to "u r so hawt" guys. Very different categories, and very different dating problems. Th

I'm sure you don't mean to do so, but you shouldn't compare black women to "u r so hawt" guys. Very different categories, and very different dating problems. The moron can stop being a moron and learn how to write decent messages. In addition, his disadvantage is a shortcoming that sends a strong signal about his worthiness for a relationship. The black woman's disadvantage comes from her being black, which will never change and which is a signal of anything other than her skin having melanin. It's not just OkCupid. Black women face a systematic disadvantage in the dating scene, even now and even among educated people. I'm not saying that it's so severe as to make it impossible for a black woman to find a decent partner, but the disadvantage exists and it's a lot more common for an attractive black woman to have long single spells. I know a couple of beautiful, smart, incredible black women in their mid-20s who haven't even kissed a guy, much less been in a relationship. Asian men face a disadvantage of a different character that is arguably as bad. Anyone who can't see this is either living in delusion or sheltered.

mquander 17y ago
I think the parent is trying to make the point that there's no clear evidence here that black women have a systematic disadvantage in general, just a disadvantage in the self-selected OKCupid community. (No comment on whether there's evidence of such elsewhere.)
jrockway 17y ago
I'm sure you don't mean to do so, but you shouldn't compare black women to "u r so hawt" guys. Very different categories, and very different dating problems. The only problem / category I am discussing is "doesn't get what they want out of OKCupid". You could argue that the "u r so hawt" guys don't deserve to get anything out of OKCupid, and I would agree with you. But I am looking at it from their perspective, rather than from the perspective of an unbiased observer. And the reality is that they are probably sad because they are rejected so frequently. I know a couple of beautiful, smart, incredible black women in their mid-20s who haven't even kissed a guy, much less been in a relationship. I know a lot of people, male and female, like this. There are a lot of people that aren't in relationships, despite what TV tells you. And, even if the odds are totally in your favor, you still have to take a lot of rejection to get anything out of online dating. The reply rate is like 1-in-5 even for white/white with a 95% match percentage. It's not easy for anyone.
ErrantX 17y ago
I know a couple of beautiful, smart, incredible black women in their mid-20s who haven't even kissed a guy, much less been in a relationship The majority of my friends (both white and black), in their mid twenties, fall into this category (not really been in a relationship). I think the only major dating disadvantage for black women is that they are living in a majority white society which will, clearly, have a preference for white women (not in a racist sense; I don't think that has as big an impact as people insinuate). Im white and as non-racist as they come and I dont particularly find black women attractive (though I have dated a few). I think the GP your replying too wasn't comparing the problems faced by the two demographics; simply the result. And pointing out that one could be quantified exactly because of the fact you mention (it's hard to change skin colour). As it happens I think that the capacity for change and the actual ability to do so are very different. "u r so hawt" guys are not "u r so hawt" guys for one single reason (as opposed to black women) but in the majority of cases a change is unlikely enough to happen, on average, as to make it impossible. Low intelligence is a common factor - and that is just has hard to change :)

mquander 17y ago

I think the parent is trying to make the point that there's no clear evidence here that black women have a systematic disadvantage in general, just a disadvantage in the self-selected OKCupid community. (No comment on whether there's evidence of such elsewhere.)

jrockway 17y ago

I'm sure you don't mean to do so, but you shouldn't compare black women to "u r so hawt" guys. Very different categories, and very different dating problems. The only problem / category I am discussing is "doesn't get what they want out of OKCupid". You could argue that the "u r so hawt" guys don't deserve to get anything out of OKCupid, and I would agree with you. But I am looking at it from their perspective, rather than from the perspective of an unbiased observer. And the reality is that they are probably sad because they are rejected so frequently. I know a couple of beautiful, smart, incredible black women in their mid-20s who haven't even kissed a guy, much less been in a relationship. I know a lot of people, male and female, like this. There are a lot of people that aren't in relationships, despite what TV tells you. And, even if the odds are totally in your favor, you still have to take a lot of rejection to get anything out of online dating. The reply rate is like 1-in-5 even for white/white with a 95% match percentage. It's not easy for anyone.

ErrantX 17y ago

I know a couple of beautiful, smart, incredible black women in their mid-20s who haven't even kissed a guy, much less been in a relationship The majority of my friends (both white and black), in their mid twenties, fall into this category (not really been in a relationship). I think the only major dating disadvantage for black women is that they are living in a majority white society which will, clearly, have a preference for white women (not in a racist sense; I don't think that has as big an impact as people insinuate). Im white and as non-racist as they come and I dont particularly find black women attractive (though I have dated a few). I think the GP your replying too wasn't comparing the problems faced by the two demographics; simply the result. And pointing out that one could be quantified exactly because of the fact you mention (it's hard to change skin colour). As it happens I think that the capacity for change and the actual ability to do so are very different. "u r so hawt" guys are not "u r so hawt" guys for one single reason (as opposed to black women) but in the majority of cases a change is unlikely enough to happen, on average, as to make it impossible. Low intelligence is a common factor - and that is just has hard to change :)