3 ms·

Because it's rarely in someone's self-interest to give honest feedback, which is true for investors, potential employers, departing employees, and almost anyone

Because it's rarely in someone's self-interest to give honest feedback, which is true for investors, potential employers, departing employees, and almost anyone else in a position to issue some type of denial. Instead, they part with something ambiguous, non-committal, and ideally flattering because it covers their butts and allows them to backpedal if necessary. Since the stated reason for declining the relationship is airy, you can't really get in a shouting match over it if the applicant/founder/whatever disagrees, and you don't offend them and preclude the possibility of future engagement. Politically and socially, it's almost always best to speak in platitudes, be ambiguous and non-committal, and refuse to give concrete information or rationale that could be used in the future to show that you were wrong about something. People usually do have a specific objection when they're turning down a request, but they just know that it doesn't help them to tell it to you, which is why it's always wise to cherish those who care enough about you to be honest.

bayonetz 10y ago
This is so true. Honest feedback is so rare yet so useful I'm surprised there aren't more people in the business of selling it. The number of people who could use a good business coach, therapist, etc. far exceeds the number of people actually making use of one.
Udik 10y ago
> Because it's rarely in someone's self-interest to give honest feedback, which is true for [...] almost anyone in a position to issue some type of denial. Instead, they part with something ambiguous, non-committal, and ideally flattering because it covers their butts and allows them to backpedal if necessary. I broke up with a girl a few hours ago and this sounds so cruelly true.
gerbilly 10y ago
>People usually do have a specific objection when they're turning down a request, but they just know that it doesn't help them to tell it to you, which is why it's always wise to cherish those who care enough about you to be honest. This, exactly this. The next time I hear non-committal platitudes from a potential business partner, I'll understand better what is really going on. Thank you for pointing that out so clearly

bayonetz 10y ago

This is so true. Honest feedback is so rare yet so useful I'm surprised there aren't more people in the business of selling it. The number of people who could use a good business coach, therapist, etc. far exceeds the number of people actually making use of one.

Udik 10y ago

> Because it's rarely in someone's self-interest to give honest feedback, which is true for [...] almost anyone in a position to issue some type of denial. Instead, they part with something ambiguous, non-committal, and ideally flattering because it covers their butts and allows them to backpedal if necessary. I broke up with a girl a few hours ago and this sounds so cruelly true.

gerbilly 10y ago

>People usually do have a specific objection when they're turning down a request, but they just know that it doesn't help them to tell it to you, which is why it's always wise to cherish those who care enough about you to be honest. This, exactly this. The next time I hear non-committal platitudes from a potential business partner, I'll understand better what is really going on. Thank you for pointing that out so clearly