This is off-topic, but I feel your pain and have a (un-paid, and unaffiliated) recommendation. My wife and I went through about 10 thermometers of all types and

This is off-topic, but I feel your pain and have a (un-paid, and unaffiliated) recommendation. My wife and I went through about 10 thermometers of all types and price points the first year our first child was born. They were all of dubious accuracy, and worse: inconsistent. Then, at the pediatrician's office we noticed them using an inner-ear thermometer. I asked the nurse to see it. It was a Braun Thermoscan. They aren't cheap at ~$70, but we bought one 5 years ago and that was that. It's fast, accurate and consistent. It paid for itself long ago and still works like it was new. And one more time, because of the context of this comment: I have no affiliation with Braun.