3 ms·

I'm glad that you exist. From what I get reading these threads on this post, many people with power to fire and hire people know a big glossy nothing about hum

by gkya 11y ago

I'm glad that you exist. From what I get reading these threads on this post, many people with power to fire and hire people know a big glossy nothing about human interaction and psychology. Not even one person gives a thought to whether the guy knows what MILF actually is. Not a single consideration was given to his age, his background, his experience. No chance to make a single mistake. Is it mostly like this in the US? And after all, if the woman thought that she was sexually harassed, I don't understand why she didn't tell that to the guy himself first, or didn't go to police, before telling it to her boss. We're talking about a bunch of adult, employed people here, why does the boss have to act like a primary school teacher overseeing interactions between adults?

Mz 11y ago
She did the correct thing. She went to her boss. That is where she should seek remedy before going to the police. It is typically dangerous for a woman to try to assert herself directly with a man she feels is harassing her. I am particularly savvy and I confronted him and also copied our two bosses and I was well aware I was taking a serious risk. But I also was 100% clear that if I did not take a firm stand with the first incident, it would only get harder. This is a problem space I have studied for a lot of years. I am unusually well equipped to deal with it. Please don't start talking like the guy must be innocent. That is as bad, or worse, than the people ready to hang him high with zero due process.
- gkya 11y ago
  "She did the correct thing. She went to her boss. That is where she should seek remedy before going to the police. It is typically dangerous for a woman to try to assert herself directly with a man she feels is harassing her." Understood. I'm a male from a different culture and maybe miss the cultural context of the incident. "This is a problem space I have studied for a lot of years. I am unusually well equipped to deal with it. Please don't start talking like the guy must be innocent. That is as bad, or worse, than the people ready to hang him high with zero due process." I don't think I implied that he is/must be innocent. What I wanted to say --sorry if not clear-- was that accusing someone with sexual harassment is a big thing and should be done with the due care and consideration. Once labelled, there's no recovery.
  - Mz 11y ago
    Thank you for clarifying.
kaitai 11y ago
Why would you go to the police?! This is an employment matter, not a criminal matter. And she needs to tell the boss, because she wants to head off retaliation in the workplace. I get tired of hearing these excuses about age, background, I didn't know what the word meant, in my old workplace I got to harass ladies all the time and it was fine. Just act like a professional. I'd even give the guy a pass if he said, "Look, I'm interested in you and I'd like to go on a date. If you're not interested, just say so and I won't mention it again." At least that's polite, instead of all this textbook boundary testing.
- gkya 11y ago
  > Why would you go to the police?! This is an employment matter, not a criminal matter. When you call it sexual harassment it's criminal. Otherwise you're basically saying that sexual harassment is not a crime. With regards to going to the boss, I'm perplexed with the role of the boss and the company in an interaction between two adults. Maybe that's a cultural issue, but I think it's the court's job to decide if an action was a sexual harassment or not, not some boss', neither a lawyers (If lawyers were to decide on cases, oh dear god...). > I get tired of hearing these excuses about age, background, I didn't know what the word meant [...] Well you can get tired of many things, but at the end of the day people need to be educated somehow, nobody is born a polite, educated, pleasurable person, one becomes so. And remember, we're not talking about a rape here, a stupid interaction instead. > [...] in my old workplace I got to harass ladies all the time and it was fine. Oh you're so funny. But the topic is serious: calling a person a sexual offender.
  - DanBC 11y ago
    > When you call it sexual harassment it's criminal. No. Sexual harassment is not always a criminal offence. > With regards to going to the boss, I'm perplexed with the role of the boss and the company in an interaction between two adults. Those two adults met at work, and this meeting was a work related meeting - she had said that. The employer has a duty of care to the employees, so that's why its gone to the boss. > Maybe that's a cultural issue, but I think it's the court's job to decide if an action was a sexual harassment or not If the boss doesn't do anything it might go to court. Or if the boss does something like fire the man, and he disagrees, it might go to court. > neither a lawyers (If lawyers were to decide on cases, oh dear god...). Well, if it goes to court everyone is going to have lawyers, right?
PhasmaFelis 11y ago
> Not even one person gives a thought to whether the guy knows what MILF actually is. How could he possibly not know what it means? The acronym doesn't work for "Mom I'd Like to Have Coffee With."
- tamana 11y ago
  It's easy enough to hear slang and not know exactly what the etymology is. That's why Urban Dictionary exists at all, and some people think LOL means "lots of love", or that unicode Winking Tongue emoji means vomitously ill.

by gkya 11y ago

Mz 11y ago

She did the correct thing. She went to her boss. That is where she should seek remedy before going to the police. It is typically dangerous for a woman to try to assert herself directly with a man she feels is harassing her. I am particularly savvy and I confronted him and also copied our two bosses and I was well aware I was taking a serious risk. But I also was 100% clear that if I did not take a firm stand with the first incident, it would only get harder. This is a problem space I have studied for a lot of years. I am unusually well equipped to deal with it. Please don't start talking like the guy must be innocent. That is as bad, or worse, than the people ready to hang him high with zero due process.

gkya 11y ago
"She did the correct thing. She went to her boss. That is where she should seek remedy before going to the police. It is typically dangerous for a woman to try to assert herself directly with a man she feels is harassing her." Understood. I'm a male from a different culture and maybe miss the cultural context of the incident. "This is a problem space I have studied for a lot of years. I am unusually well equipped to deal with it. Please don't start talking like the guy must be innocent. That is as bad, or worse, than the people ready to hang him high with zero due process." I don't think I implied that he is/must be innocent. What I wanted to say --sorry if not clear-- was that accusing someone with sexual harassment is a big thing and should be done with the due care and consideration. Once labelled, there's no recovery.
- Mz 11y ago
  Thank you for clarifying.

kaitai 11y ago

Why would you go to the police?! This is an employment matter, not a criminal matter. And she needs to tell the boss, because she wants to head off retaliation in the workplace. I get tired of hearing these excuses about age, background, I didn't know what the word meant, in my old workplace I got to harass ladies all the time and it was fine. Just act like a professional. I'd even give the guy a pass if he said, "Look, I'm interested in you and I'd like to go on a date. If you're not interested, just say so and I won't mention it again." At least that's polite, instead of all this textbook boundary testing.

gkya 11y ago
> Why would you go to the police?! This is an employment matter, not a criminal matter. When you call it sexual harassment it's criminal. Otherwise you're basically saying that sexual harassment is not a crime. With regards to going to the boss, I'm perplexed with the role of the boss and the company in an interaction between two adults. Maybe that's a cultural issue, but I think it's the court's job to decide if an action was a sexual harassment or not, not some boss', neither a lawyers (If lawyers were to decide on cases, oh dear god...). > I get tired of hearing these excuses about age, background, I didn't know what the word meant [...] Well you can get tired of many things, but at the end of the day people need to be educated somehow, nobody is born a polite, educated, pleasurable person, one becomes so. And remember, we're not talking about a rape here, a stupid interaction instead. > [...] in my old workplace I got to harass ladies all the time and it was fine. Oh you're so funny. But the topic is serious: calling a person a sexual offender.
- DanBC 11y ago
  > When you call it sexual harassment it's criminal. No. Sexual harassment is not always a criminal offence. > With regards to going to the boss, I'm perplexed with the role of the boss and the company in an interaction between two adults. Those two adults met at work, and this meeting was a work related meeting - she had said that. The employer has a duty of care to the employees, so that's why its gone to the boss. > Maybe that's a cultural issue, but I think it's the court's job to decide if an action was a sexual harassment or not If the boss doesn't do anything it might go to court. Or if the boss does something like fire the man, and he disagrees, it might go to court. > neither a lawyers (If lawyers were to decide on cases, oh dear god...). Well, if it goes to court everyone is going to have lawyers, right?

PhasmaFelis 11y ago

> Not even one person gives a thought to whether the guy knows what MILF actually is. How could he possibly not know what it means? The acronym doesn't work for "Mom I'd Like to Have Coffee With."

tamana 11y ago
It's easy enough to hear slang and not know exactly what the etymology is. That's why Urban Dictionary exists at all, and some people think LOL means "lots of love", or that unicode Winking Tongue emoji means vomitously ill.