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The thing is, the world is full of people who are abusive or terrible when in private or one-on-one, yet adhere to social norms when in a group. Every woman I k
by stonecraftwolf 10y ago
The thing is, the world is full of people who are abusive or terrible when in private or one-on-one, yet adhere to social norms when in a group. Every woman I know who has reported her rapist or her harasser has had this said to her in some variation--it couldn't happen here, because we're not like that. It doesn't work that way.
I've had conversations with male friends about this that eventually boiled down to, "well, I just don't want to think the people I know and like could be capable of that." Yeah, imagine how much we hate it.
- joantune 10y agonow you're implicitly calling the guy a rapist?? What happened to the benefit of the doubt
- stonecraftwolf 10y agoObviously not, and that is a reading in such bad faith that it veers into trolling. For anyone reading who is not trolling: the point is that like most other people who break the social rules in some way, abusers, harassers, and yes, rapists, are often very good at publicly performing adherence to social norms while deviating from them in private. Nor do they personally identify as abusers, harassers, rapists--even if they might acknowledge the behavior that defines them as such. This isn't a new phenomenon.
- balls187 10y agoWould you grant us access to all your personal email, social networks, and websearch history so that we may verify that you have not broken any social rules? That is, most of us, in some way, behave differently in our private lives vs our professional lives.