5 ms·

There's a clear difference between "I like your new haircut" which I agree is not sexual harassment and MILF: Mother I'd Like to Fuck (which is just slightly ab

by gommm 10y ago

There's a clear difference between "I like your new haircut" which I agree is not sexual harassment and MILF: Mother I'd Like to Fuck (which is just slightly above calling your coworker slut). The second sentence is sexual harassment.

kristofferR 10y ago
Doesn't there have to be persistence involved for something to become harassment instead of just being a single instance of a offensive/dumb/annoying comment?
- snowwrestler 10y ago
  No, harassment is a violation of the norms of a professional workplace. If it only happens once, it still happened. It might not always be a firing offense, but at minimum it requires management to intervene and reset expectations.
joering2 10y ago
uhm okay. So basically movies full of violence, drugs, guns, etc, and video games full of similar are fine. You wouldn't be offended if someone in your office plays Call of Duty right? But somehow telling someone you find them attractive (I'd like to Fuck) is offensive. Gee I feel bad for you... if that really offends you.
- deleted 10y ago
  [deleted]
gkya 10y ago
We don't know if the mentioned person's mother tongue is English. They may well not know that MILF is mother I like to f*ck. I'm from a non English speaking country and I can say that I haven't met anybody who'd know that. I myself didn't know that until I read a Wikipedia article. The OP should first try to see if this is the case, otherwise fire them. Some are bad at flirting, and sometimes you say silly things. We shouldn't be this generous at calling everything sexual harassment.
- beambot 10y ago
  In many states, intent doesn't matter for sexual harassment -- even if the person saying "MILF" didn't know what it meant, the recipient could still construe it as harassment (and win!).
  - gkya 10y ago
    And some states still execute people and until recently some didn't allow homosexual marriages. Some states kept slavery well into the twentieth century. Do we measure right and wrong with state legislations?
    - beambot 10y ago
      I'll ignore your strawman entirely.... and just say: If the OP wants to protect his business, the offending employee's intent is immaterial when it comes to exposing himself^ and his company to undue legal risk. ^ IIRC in California managers (as company representatives) are personally liable if they knew of the harassment and didn't take corrective action. OP needs to lawyer up, deal with this, and address harassment more broadly in the company. Sucks to deal with... but is mandatory training for all medium-to-big companies.
- DanGarcia595 10y ago
  If that is the case, would you, not knowing the meaning of a word, use that word in a professional environment? And also, does not understanding the meaning of the word excuse it's use?
  - gkya 10y ago
    I said he may have mistaken the meaning of the word. They don't have footnotes on porn sites deciphering milf, bdsm, cfnm etc. Sometimes we say silly things in foreign languages. And also in our mother tongues. It's not like we check every word we use in the dictionary.
    - 10y ago

by gommm 10y ago

kristofferR 10y ago

Doesn't there have to be persistence involved for something to become harassment instead of just being a single instance of a offensive/dumb/annoying comment?

snowwrestler 10y ago
No, harassment is a violation of the norms of a professional workplace. If it only happens once, it still happened. It might not always be a firing offense, but at minimum it requires management to intervene and reset expectations.

joering2 10y ago

uhm okay. So basically movies full of violence, drugs, guns, etc, and video games full of similar are fine. You wouldn't be offended if someone in your office plays Call of Duty right? But somehow telling someone you find them attractive (I'd like to Fuck) is offensive. Gee I feel bad for you... if that really offends you.

deleted 10y ago
[deleted]

gkya 10y ago

We don't know if the mentioned person's mother tongue is English. They may well not know that MILF is mother I like to f*ck. I'm from a non English speaking country and I can say that I haven't met anybody who'd know that. I myself didn't know that until I read a Wikipedia article. The OP should first try to see if this is the case, otherwise fire them. Some are bad at flirting, and sometimes you say silly things. We shouldn't be this generous at calling everything sexual harassment.

beambot 10y ago
In many states, intent doesn't matter for sexual harassment -- even if the person saying "MILF" didn't know what it meant, the recipient could still construe it as harassment (and win!).
- gkya 10y ago
  And some states still execute people and until recently some didn't allow homosexual marriages. Some states kept slavery well into the twentieth century. Do we measure right and wrong with state legislations?
  - beambot 10y ago
    I'll ignore your strawman entirely.... and just say: If the OP wants to protect his business, the offending employee's intent is immaterial when it comes to exposing himself^ and his company to undue legal risk. ^ IIRC in California managers (as company representatives) are personally liable if they knew of the harassment and didn't take corrective action. OP needs to lawyer up, deal with this, and address harassment more broadly in the company. Sucks to deal with... but is mandatory training for all medium-to-big companies.
DanGarcia595 10y ago
If that is the case, would you, not knowing the meaning of a word, use that word in a professional environment? And also, does not understanding the meaning of the word excuse it's use?
- gkya 10y ago
  I said he may have mistaken the meaning of the word. They don't have footnotes on porn sites deciphering milf, bdsm, cfnm etc. Sometimes we say silly things in foreign languages. And also in our mother tongues. It's not like we check every word we use in the dictionary.
  - 10y ago