Just thinking about this terrifies me... When I was 18 I was effectively drowning at sea after (stupidly) swimming out to a bouy (100m from shore) with my frie

Just thinking about this terrifies me... When I was 18 I was effectively drowning at sea after (stupidly) swimming out to a bouy (100m from shore) with my friends. I had a panic attack on the way back for some reason and immediately lost control of my movement and voice -- I basically went into autopilot, though I was aware of what was happening. I thought I was flailing around but in hindsight I think I must have looked quite calm above the water, with my arms and legs moving like crazy under the water. In reality I was doing something akin to doggy-paddle, swallowing water in vast amounts and barely catching a breath. I couldn't raise my arms to wave for help and I tried screaming to my friends who I could see 20m or so in front of me. In my head I was screaming as loud as I could but all that came out of my mouth was a barely audible squeak. Somehow I managed to finally get out a cry for help between gulps of water and one of my friends turned round to come and get me. Even when he finally reached me I still wasn't safe as I had zero control over my limbs so he basically had to swim with my body weight and his combined, 50m or so back to the shore. I remember a couple of moments where he said that I was dragging him under and I was petrified that we wouldn't be able to make it back together (at this point no one else know what was happening). Fortunately he's a very strong swimmer and we made it back without any physical damage. I was so exhausted that I couldn't walk for quite some time afterward, nor speak much really. It remains the single most frightening moment of my life by far and I am 100% certain that I would have died that day had my friend not have turned around to see what I was doing. I've never swum in the sea since out of a combination of respect and pure fear of what can happen. I am ok with enclosed pools though as I'm comfortable knowing that I have something nearby to hold onto and other people around to notice things. If you feel uncomfortable with a swim at sea then just don't do it. It's not worth it!