4 ms·

if i said "can we move this conversation somewhere more private, and outside work" and you said "yes" is there an implication of some consent? could the guy ha

by basch 11y ago

if i said "can we move this conversation somewhere more private, and outside work" and you said "yes" is there an implication of some consent? could the guy have been imagining that her agreeing to move the convo was her approval, and anything further was her playing hard to get? that said, the magic words "sure as friends in work context" should have been a cease and desist to end any further bright ideas.

icebraining 11y ago
That specific wording ("somewhere more private") might imply acceptance of sexual advances, but nowhere do we see those words in the original post, and I find it hard to believe that one would say "yes" to that if one wasn't interested in being asked out.
- basch 11y ago
  if a coworker asks me for my personal phone number or email address, something is up. there is a reason they arent using official company provided communication. asking for my phone number sounds like explicit "move this off the record."
  - icebraining 11y ago
    Yes, and that might be because they want you to make a move on them, or it might be - like it very recently happened to me - that they just wanted to ask you for help on a side project. I can definitely tell you that I wasn't leading my coworker on when I sent him my personal email address, and I find it weird that it would be someone's only assumption.
    - ChemicalWarfare 11y ago
      If instead of asking you to help out with a project they would've asked you out, would you consider this to be an inappropriate/sexual harassment situation though?
      - icebraining 11y ago
        No, but neither did she. If they kept pressing after being turned down, yes, probably.
snowwrestler 11y ago
> if i said "can we move this conversation somewhere more private, and outside work" and you said "yes" is there an implication of some consent? Consent to have a private conversation, yes. Consent for sexual advances, not necessarily. Coworkers can ask for private conversations for all sorts of reasons. Maybe they have a work question and don't want to look dumb by asking it in front of everybody. Maybe they want a restaurant recommendation and don't want to clutter the work chat with that. Maybe they heard you've been to Orlando, and they're planning a vacation there, and is Disney World worth it? Etc. It can even be a private conversation to ask a coworker out--that's fine if done appropriately. Dropping F-bombs, even in acronym form, is not.

by basch 11y ago

icebraining 11y ago

That specific wording ("somewhere more private") might imply acceptance of sexual advances, but nowhere do we see those words in the original post, and I find it hard to believe that one would say "yes" to that if one wasn't interested in being asked out.

basch 11y ago
if a coworker asks me for my personal phone number or email address, something is up. there is a reason they arent using official company provided communication. asking for my phone number sounds like explicit "move this off the record."
- icebraining 11y ago
  Yes, and that might be because they want you to make a move on them, or it might be - like it very recently happened to me - that they just wanted to ask you for help on a side project. I can definitely tell you that I wasn't leading my coworker on when I sent him my personal email address, and I find it weird that it would be someone's only assumption.
  - ChemicalWarfare 11y ago
    If instead of asking you to help out with a project they would've asked you out, would you consider this to be an inappropriate/sexual harassment situation though?
    - icebraining 11y ago
      No, but neither did she. If they kept pressing after being turned down, yes, probably.

snowwrestler 11y ago

> if i said "can we move this conversation somewhere more private, and outside work" and you said "yes" is there an implication of some consent? Consent to have a private conversation, yes. Consent for sexual advances, not necessarily. Coworkers can ask for private conversations for all sorts of reasons. Maybe they have a work question and don't want to look dumb by asking it in front of everybody. Maybe they want a restaurant recommendation and don't want to clutter the work chat with that. Maybe they heard you've been to Orlando, and they're planning a vacation there, and is Disney World worth it? Etc. It can even be a private conversation to ask a coworker out--that's fine if done appropriately. Dropping F-bombs, even in acronym form, is not.