5 ms·

It's funny. I'm seeing this, while I'm thinking about dropping out of this career. I don't want to be one of those girl dropout stats, but lately I'm feeling a

by MollyR 10y ago

It's funny. I'm seeing this, while I'm thinking about dropping out of this career. I don't want to be one of those girl dropout stats, but lately I'm feeling a desire to start a family. fwiw I just passed 32 and I don't know if I want to do programming/software engineering jobs anymore. I'm hoping its just a phase.

deleted 10y ago
[deleted]
leeoniya 10y ago
Ironically, it's an ideal profession for staying home while raising kids :)
- bbcbasic 10y ago
  You can't be serious
- masters3d 10y ago
  Caring for kids is a full time job. I used to think my wife had it easy until I tried it myself.
35bge57dtjku 10y ago
I'd definitely go with a family if I had someone to support me. You can always program more later.
pasquinelli 10y ago
hey, i turn 32 today. i'm also feeling dissatisfied with being a programmer. i don't think it's a phase though. honestly, i can't remember a time that i've been satisfied with my situation.
- RALaBarge 10y ago
  Why do you think that is? Have you spent much time thinking about what would make you happy?
  - pasquinelli 10y ago
    oh, constantly. but it's always changing, is the problem. actually, i've come to the opinion that that isn't really a problem. imagine an artist who's never satisfied with their work, either because it isn't good enough for them or because they're ready to move on to something completely different. that's not really a bad thing in and of itself. it's only in how they respond to that innate restlessness -- the engine that drives their work -- that could cause problems.
20years 10y ago
Don't let "I don't want to be one of those girl dropout stats" stop you from pursuing what you desire. "I don't know if I want to do programming/software engineering jobs anymore" I went through this too. You won't know unless you follow other desires you have and it sounds like one of those is to be a mom. I am a 42 year old female that has been doing this for close to 20 years. I have 2 kids. Having kids opened me up to so many other things and actually made me better at what I do. Don't worry about silly stats and being one of them. Worry about what you want and what is best for you.
k__ 10y ago
I know a few women who did their own projects while raising kids. Often some web stuff about children/family, hehe. But it helped them to keep up to date and get back into the job with ease. Also some of them made those projects to their main job, so they now work from home and have more time for their children :)
deleted 10y ago
[deleted]
throwaway_java 10y ago
33 y.o. Dad of 3, and a far better engineer since having kids. Since becoming a Dad, I learnt the value of time, I learnt how to get stuff finished when I have a chance to, I learnt empathy and tolerance, I learnt to look at the big picture. I forgot about many of the frustrations and angst that I felt before I had kids. I simply don't have time to worry about my own feelings much, but at the same time I learnt to look after myself much more efficiently, because I have to, because 3 kids and a wife depend on me. I've never been happier at work, because I have a family. Definitely start a family, but also think about keeping your career too in what ever form suits you.
- analog31 10y ago
  Since having kids, I've become better at dealing with managers. ;-)
  - bbcbasic 10y ago
    Being a parent is full time management training.
- elijahparker 10y ago
  Exactly -- you grow in many ways. I'm a father of two with one more on the way and I've often wondered what I might have achieved if I had the efficiency and discipline I do now before kids when I had more time... Yet somehow I'm now achieving more with less time.
- colincarter41 10y ago
  It really a things that all engineers worried. Sometimes, it is like you don’t have time for your family. The work is never going finished. You tried hard to give some time for your family but you can’t. This frustration and anger makes you uncomfortable. But you can’t even share your feeling with your family. You don’t want them to worry. It is a life of every engineer. But it is always good to choose the options that better suits you.
cgriswald 10y ago
I had a little bit of a career, had a kid, and became a stay-at-home dad. After working from home for a bit, I ended up letting the career slide and ultimately end. Along the way I realized I didn't really care for it. Now I'm back in school in an unrelated field and realizing that coding can be an asset in the field. I'm working on a personal coding project as a way to get back into things. My physics prof believes that going to school for computer science is like going to school to learn all how a shovel works, while other majors (like physics) just learn how to use the shovel in order to accomplish their goals. I don't entirely agree with him, but it made me realize it was never coding that I stopped liking. It was coding about stuff I didn't care about that had killed my interest. (Interest in playing with technology for the sake of playing with technology had faded for me.) Now when I code, it is because the code is a step (one I find fun, enjoyable, and usually relaxing) towards another goal. So, it might not be a phase. It must just be you are craving more.
- kirrent 10y ago
  This parallels a lot of my experience. I moved into physics because I realised that I loved coding only when the problems and technologies interested me. While I found CS problem sets boring, being able to use my coding in physics was endlessly exciting. Even more than that though, being able to apply a CS mindset to physics problems when no-one else in the lab would was always fun in itself.
- morgante 10y ago
  > My physics prof believes that going to school for computer science is like going to school to learn all how a shovel works, while other majors (like physics) just learn how to use the shovel in order to accomplish their goals. And this is how labs end up with terrible code that doesn't follow any best practices and is completely unmaintainable. If scientists weren't so arrogant, they might realize that if we're spending years studying something it might be a bit more complex than a shovel.
  - glaberficken 10y ago
    > If scientists weren't so arrogant, they might realize that if we're spending years studying something it might be a bit more complex than a shovel. If some programmers weren't so arrogant, they might realize that terrible code that doesn't follow any best practices and is completely unmaintainable solves a lot of day-to-day problems in many many fields/businesses. The beauty of programming and the spread of knowledge today is that you absolutely need not be an expert to make something that works and automates real work in the real world, every day. Again, "some programmers" (not all) seem to be overzealous in defending some kind of exclusive right to develop software the right way, as opposed to the wrong amateur way. This irks me a little bit, not meant to be a caustic comment =) sorry if it sounds a bit like one.
carsongross 10y ago
There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. That you feel any conflict at all about being a mother is a testament to how sick our society has become.
- huuu 10y ago
  I have to agree. My wife stopped working because she want's to be a full time mother (which is hard work by the way). I also try to work at home as much as possible because kids grow up so fast it's easy to miss the first baby steps. Yes we have less money to save and have to skip some things once in a while but it's worth it.
marincounty 10y ago
If you can pull it off, I think it's great. When I was your age, I couldn't imagine sitting in front of a computer. I couldn't imagine sitting. (I know a lot of you love it--I'm just talking about my preferences.) As I've aged, its gotten tolerable. I put up small websites. Never considered myself a Programmer. I have found I am interested in a lot of things, but never found any career I loved. My father never understood me. He literally loved being a union electrician. He would talk shop on his days off. I never understood why. He used to be interested in so many things, but once he got that comfortable, union job--it was all about being a electrician. I'm definitely not my father. Good luck!
frequent 10y ago
life can be in phases - http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2722 http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2722

by MollyR 10y ago

deleted 10y ago

[deleted]

leeoniya 10y ago

Ironically, it's an ideal profession for staying home while raising kids :)

bbcbasic 10y ago
You can't be serious
masters3d 10y ago
Caring for kids is a full time job. I used to think my wife had it easy until I tried it myself.

35bge57dtjku 10y ago

I'd definitely go with a family if I had someone to support me. You can always program more later.

pasquinelli 10y ago

hey, i turn 32 today. i'm also feeling dissatisfied with being a programmer. i don't think it's a phase though. honestly, i can't remember a time that i've been satisfied with my situation.

RALaBarge 10y ago
Why do you think that is? Have you spent much time thinking about what would make you happy?
- pasquinelli 10y ago
  oh, constantly. but it's always changing, is the problem. actually, i've come to the opinion that that isn't really a problem. imagine an artist who's never satisfied with their work, either because it isn't good enough for them or because they're ready to move on to something completely different. that's not really a bad thing in and of itself. it's only in how they respond to that innate restlessness -- the engine that drives their work -- that could cause problems.

20years 10y ago

Don't let "I don't want to be one of those girl dropout stats" stop you from pursuing what you desire. "I don't know if I want to do programming/software engineering jobs anymore" I went through this too. You won't know unless you follow other desires you have and it sounds like one of those is to be a mom. I am a 42 year old female that has been doing this for close to 20 years. I have 2 kids. Having kids opened me up to so many other things and actually made me better at what I do. Don't worry about silly stats and being one of them. Worry about what you want and what is best for you.

k__ 10y ago

I know a few women who did their own projects while raising kids. Often some web stuff about children/family, hehe. But it helped them to keep up to date and get back into the job with ease. Also some of them made those projects to their main job, so they now work from home and have more time for their children :)

deleted 10y ago

[deleted]

throwaway_java 10y ago

33 y.o. Dad of 3, and a far better engineer since having kids. Since becoming a Dad, I learnt the value of time, I learnt how to get stuff finished when I have a chance to, I learnt empathy and tolerance, I learnt to look at the big picture. I forgot about many of the frustrations and angst that I felt before I had kids. I simply don't have time to worry about my own feelings much, but at the same time I learnt to look after myself much more efficiently, because I have to, because 3 kids and a wife depend on me. I've never been happier at work, because I have a family. Definitely start a family, but also think about keeping your career too in what ever form suits you.

analog31 10y ago
Since having kids, I've become better at dealing with managers. ;-)
- bbcbasic 10y ago
  Being a parent is full time management training.
elijahparker 10y ago
Exactly -- you grow in many ways. I'm a father of two with one more on the way and I've often wondered what I might have achieved if I had the efficiency and discipline I do now before kids when I had more time... Yet somehow I'm now achieving more with less time.
colincarter41 10y ago
It really a things that all engineers worried. Sometimes, it is like you don’t have time for your family. The work is never going finished. You tried hard to give some time for your family but you can’t. This frustration and anger makes you uncomfortable. But you can’t even share your feeling with your family. You don’t want them to worry. It is a life of every engineer. But it is always good to choose the options that better suits you.

cgriswald 10y ago

I had a little bit of a career, had a kid, and became a stay-at-home dad. After working from home for a bit, I ended up letting the career slide and ultimately end. Along the way I realized I didn't really care for it. Now I'm back in school in an unrelated field and realizing that coding can be an asset in the field. I'm working on a personal coding project as a way to get back into things. My physics prof believes that going to school for computer science is like going to school to learn all how a shovel works, while other majors (like physics) just learn how to use the shovel in order to accomplish their goals. I don't entirely agree with him, but it made me realize it was never coding that I stopped liking. It was coding about stuff I didn't care about that had killed my interest. (Interest in playing with technology for the sake of playing with technology had faded for me.) Now when I code, it is because the code is a step (one I find fun, enjoyable, and usually relaxing) towards another goal. So, it might not be a phase. It must just be you are craving more.

kirrent 10y ago
This parallels a lot of my experience. I moved into physics because I realised that I loved coding only when the problems and technologies interested me. While I found CS problem sets boring, being able to use my coding in physics was endlessly exciting. Even more than that though, being able to apply a CS mindset to physics problems when no-one else in the lab would was always fun in itself.
morgante 10y ago
> My physics prof believes that going to school for computer science is like going to school to learn all how a shovel works, while other majors (like physics) just learn how to use the shovel in order to accomplish their goals. And this is how labs end up with terrible code that doesn't follow any best practices and is completely unmaintainable. If scientists weren't so arrogant, they might realize that if we're spending years studying something it might be a bit more complex than a shovel.
- glaberficken 10y ago
  > If scientists weren't so arrogant, they might realize that if we're spending years studying something it might be a bit more complex than a shovel. If some programmers weren't so arrogant, they might realize that terrible code that doesn't follow any best practices and is completely unmaintainable solves a lot of day-to-day problems in many many fields/businesses. The beauty of programming and the spread of knowledge today is that you absolutely need not be an expert to make something that works and automates real work in the real world, every day. Again, "some programmers" (not all) seem to be overzealous in defending some kind of exclusive right to develop software the right way, as opposed to the wrong amateur way. This irks me a little bit, not meant to be a caustic comment =) sorry if it sounds a bit like one.

carsongross 10y ago

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. That you feel any conflict at all about being a mother is a testament to how sick our society has become.

huuu 10y ago
I have to agree. My wife stopped working because she want's to be a full time mother (which is hard work by the way). I also try to work at home as much as possible because kids grow up so fast it's easy to miss the first baby steps. Yes we have less money to save and have to skip some things once in a while but it's worth it.

marincounty 10y ago

If you can pull it off, I think it's great. When I was your age, I couldn't imagine sitting in front of a computer. I couldn't imagine sitting. (I know a lot of you love it--I'm just talking about my preferences.) As I've aged, its gotten tolerable. I put up small websites. Never considered myself a Programmer. I have found I am interested in a lot of things, but never found any career I loved. My father never understood me. He literally loved being a union electrician. He would talk shop on his days off. I never understood why. He used to be interested in so many things, but once he got that comfortable, union job--it was all about being a electrician. I'm definitely not my father. Good luck!

frequent 10y ago

life can be in phases - http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2722 http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2722