who said that's a bad thing? All I tried to say is that it's possible to both be actively looking for members and simultaneously rejecting them at the same time

who said that's a bad thing? All I tried to say is that it's possible to both be actively looking for members and simultaneously rejecting them at the same time; possibly without even realizing it. So even when you think you're being inclusive, you might be exhibiting in-group behavior that's offputting to others. I suspect that often girls in CS are effected by this. If you read me as implying judgement, I apologize, I did not intend that. (Also, your implication that I was not a nerd and/or cool in high school is way off. But that's cool.)