The one that kills me the most is when you announce your resignation from the job. All of the sudden, everybody says "Hey, let's take you to lunch!" Me: "Dude

The one that kills me the most is when you announce your resignation from the job. All of the sudden, everybody says "Hey, let's take you to lunch!" Me: "Dude, I have been here for 4 years. I have taken everybody to lunch at least 8 times. Once you came. The other times you were 'busy.' Now you want to take me to lunch on my last week? Not once you invited me before!"