Thanks for answering: I appreciate it. I'll admit that that notion is pretty foreign to me: "unenthusiastic" is pretty antithetical to "awesome" in my book (no

Thanks for answering: I appreciate it. I'll admit that that notion is pretty foreign to me: "unenthusiastic" is pretty antithetical to "awesome" in my book (not just when it comes to sex). But setting aside the "awesome" label, I can definitely see a place for occasional unenthusiastic (but fondly willing?) sex in a long-term relationship. And I'm willing to grant that some folks might be turned on by "hateful" sex (though the combination of "hateful" and "unenthusiastic" seems exponentially less interesting). But in either case (and maybe especially both together), the sex in question is almost by definition going to look one heck of a lot like rape. If your partner is actively demonstrating a distaste for what you are doing, how do you know that they're consenting? I would hope that the people involved would have some very explicit conversations about what was expected in advance (and ideally even set up a safe word), just as for BDSM. (And as I noted, I consider that a stricter standard than affirmative consent.) Without those safeguards, if one of the participants in such an arrangement accused the other of rape, I honestly couldn't begin to see a reason to disagree with them. ("It wasn't rape, it was unenthusiastic, hateful sex! He's into that, believe me! Even though he says he isn't." That's not gonna fly.) Is there something I'm missing about this?