4 ms·

Maybe we just eventually optimize for what will make us happy across all the various categories (looks, personality, lifestyle etc.) which is "good enough" for

• siscia 10y ago
  Maybe, but I don't think so... Or, at least, it didn't happened to me. The first time of dating is like a bet, the partner is "good enough", you definitely look around and see more beautiful woman, smarter people or funnier mates, but for one reason or another you stick with her. After a while you know her better, she know you better and something more happens, you start to care for each other, you want to care for the other, you do things against your self interest for the other. Then you develop some sort of intimate caring and empathy, her becomes like a part of you, you see all of her flaws but they don't matter, you can understand her just by looking, you can feel when something is wrong, you don't image to share the same experience you had with her with some one else. (And this is the phase where I am now) However, I am still physically attracted by other women, I cannot image nothing but sex with some one different from my partner; not romantic walks, not dinner together, not talking about me and my hopes or fear; but sex, definitely yes. Sorry for the long off topic post :)
  • alashley 10y ago
    I get what you're saying. You take a chance on a specific person and then over time your empathy grows and you see them as an extension of yourself. I think relationships that have long-term potential should ideally have this quality. Lastly, I think that some for some people, sex is meaningless without the empathy, mutual love and concern backing it.
    • siscia 10y ago
      Exactly :)