10 ms·

WRT the decline with age, I've always felt like a lot of it is 'ego based', for lack of better terms. I've found that as time goes on, people are far more conc

WRT the decline with age, I've always felt like a lot of it is 'ego based', for lack of better terms. I've found that as time goes on, people are far more concerned with doing things by the book, projecting an image, etc. rather than just 'being', enjoying life in the moment, doing things just because. I've certainly been guilty of this to some extent because it seems impossible to avoid. Personal anecdote: At age 16 it was fun to hang around at a bus stop or street corner or whatever and just chat bollocks. Move forward a bit and in college we'd hang out in someone's dorm room or flat or equivalent. Now everyone is off at work, spaced out all over the place. You might be able to get one or two people to do something, but it'll probably mean some sort of sanitized commercial experience (go and get pizza at a restaurant, pay to commute there, pay to commute back, etc). And it's all because we've sort of decided that working all the time is more important than being social. I think that's sad. I often wonder if it's how we end up with such warped political environments. No-one just relaxes, any more, it's all 40 hour weeks and 'scheduling appointments' months into the future. You grow up, and what were 20 kids, become a banker, a lawyer, a janitor, a policeman, a nurse, a dropout, a homeless guy, and so on. And it just doesn't work, because of all these rules we've made up, status games, location, whatever. Why can't we just go to the park again? And no, this isn't just about childhood friends moving away. It's the same story up and down the scale, in my experience. Everyone is busy, everyone is pushing. The community takes a back seat to economic needs, it seems. Something like that. I'm not sure. I know we still got stuff done back then, I have a bit of paper with a hologram on it that proves it. But it wasn't all consuming, somehow.

stegosaurus 10y ago
Christ, in some ways, this thread makes me want to just like, teleport some people from HN into the local park with some beers. I think we'd have a great time. No vi vs emacs, mind.
- DanBC 10y ago
  > eleport some people from HN into the local park with some beers. Park runs are fun (for various values of fun) and probably a good way to meet people.
- modarts 10y ago
  I'd love to have an HN irl meetup sometime.
  - WalterSear 10y ago
    WE COULD SHOUT AT AND DOWNVOTE EACHOTHER DOWN IN PERSON.
    - eru 10y ago
      Only if you have enough karma!
    - atomical 10y ago
      Is dang available to move tables when discussions go off topic?
- jfim 10y ago
  It's definitely doable. Anyone in SF wants to meet in the golden gate park today around 3pm? Edit: Since this got a few upvotes but not many replies, feel free to come at 37°46'08.4"N 122°29'08.8"W (https://goo.gl/maps/Vvyctgz4CAQ2 https://goo.gl/maps/Vvyctgz4CAQ2). Will have a Linkedin tshirt/backpack.
  - trevyn 10y ago
    I would -- one of my residences is in SF -- but I'm actually in Palm Springs at the moment. Success breeds spatial flexibility. Proximity breeds close relationships.
  - urs2102 10y ago
    Not in SF, but this is awesome. Hope it's fun!
    - nazka 10y ago
      Same here I can't. I live in France but as soon as I am back in SF I will!
  - dempseye 10y ago
    Did anyone come?
- iliis 10y ago
  I'm in ;) (Even though I probably would spend the time figuring out how the fuck you teleported us across the world.)
- compumike 10y ago
  We basically used to do this when I lived in San Diego -- a monthly Hacker News meetup organized by email list. It'd start with a ~2 hours at a local non-alcoholic establishment, and then at a set time, whoever wanted would transition to a pub across the street. No agenda or presentation, just a meetup of interesting & like-minded folk. Good times!
- jboggan 10y ago
  Anyone around "Silicon Beach" come down to Original Muscle Beach in Santa Monica, we'll be down there swinging on the rings and monkey bars all day. Come make friends.
  - fmela 10y ago
    Sounds fun! I'll have to join next time.
- jsmthrowaway 10y ago
  I know most here aren't a fan of the site, but Reddit does this and the meetups are a blast. They're usually geographic or interest-oriented, but there are some bigger ones that inspire travel. You do get the negative you'd expect, but that's the Web in general. Don't go just to get laid (you won't), treat people with respect and it's great. I suspect there would be different problems with this audience, but all manageable. They get pretty fun beyond a critical mass but that usually takes logistics, sponsors, and so on, and you're basically organizing a conference. I think Imgur had sponsors for the last big one and fed everybody the whole time. There's a spectrum. Small and intimate can be good, big and organized and logistical can be good. Sets the tone. Get one or two of the heavyweight names here to talk, toss out some Goat Hill, and you'd draw a crowd.
  - encoderer 10y ago
    I think reddit bashers just haven't spent enough time on Reddit. I only read Reddit as a lurker but I have been time and again just delighted at the fractal of subreddits. No matter your curiosity, kink or quirk, there's a small community there for it.
elorant 10y ago
That’s because we’re all possessed with the idea of changing the world. We focus so much on the big picture that we lose track of what’s important in life. We also think that once you get past forties and haven’t done anything important you’re doomed for the rest of your life. We can’t go back to the park again because we take life (and ourselves) too fucking seriously.
- ethanbond 10y ago
  That's giving people too much credit. 99% of the people here aren't heads down in their study for months trying to complete a masterpiece. People are simply asocial and lazy.
  - solotronics 10y ago
    Hey some people just want to watch youtube in their underwear and read hacker news. Not everyone is wired to be Mark Zuckerberg, although if they were the world would be totally hilarious.
nostrademons 10y ago
I've observed the same but interpret it differently. Life gets more differentiated as you get older. You learn what makes you happy and what doesn't, you experience different situations and react to them, and you make decisions about who you're going to be and what you're going to do. And all of that becomes part of your identity. It's part of your accumulated self-knowledge. And part of that is perceiving differences in how you see the world vs. how other people see the world. A banker, a janitor, a nurse, an engineer, and a dropout can all still be friends if they have something in common, and confine their friendship to that thing. I still occasionally get together with my high-school friends, when I happen to be back home, and we've become bankers, janitors, nurses, engineers, and dropouts. But 15 years after graduation, the high school we went to is an increasingly small part of our identities. And it feels constraining to hang out all the time, like you're denying all the other parts of yourself that you've discovered since. It's great to get together for a weekend and reminisce about old times, but it's not something I'd want to do every weekend. The economic aspects are second-order effects. Yes, this tends to stratify people into economic tiers. But the reason for that is that it's hard to do anything for a significant portion of your life without it becoming part of your identity, and it's hard for a skillset to pay off without doing it for a significant portion of your life. And different skillsets are compensated wildly differently, based on supply & demand.
- stegosaurus 10y ago
  That only explains half of the picture, though. The photograph in the linked article explains it quite well to me - regardless of how 'real' it is, there's a picture of a shiny gathering with the dresses and the shiny clothes and the fancy food, and so on. And there's nothing wrong with that. I love me some good dress-up and the food there looks super yum. But the simple gatherings seem to have disappeared. Outside of family, do people visit just for the sake of visiting anymore? I think it was the unified purpose, the school catchment area, maybe. That proximity. Everyone is everywhere now. My park is not your park, my pub is not your pub, etc.
  - WalterBright 10y ago
    I find it tiresome that it becomes hard to just have friends over. Have to negotiate a time, clean the house, get food, and if you're going to a friend's house you're expected to "bring something", etc. Sigh.
trevyn 10y ago
I think it's because mobility is easy in the downward direction -- if the banker and the lawyer chose to become the janitor and the homeless guy, they could do that easily. However, the banker and the lawyer realize that they have more life choices available if they are nearer to top of the hierarchy, and this directly leads to more obligations -- to maintain their positions, they must fulfill more responsibilities. More choice leads to more reproductive success. Q.E.D.
haberman 10y ago
FWIW, my life isn't like this at all. I'm 34 and my friends and I are all professionals. It was gorgeous in Seattle this week. Monday night I went to a BBQ with 7 of my closest friends. We spent hours on the rooftop deck of their apt building relaxing and shooting the shit. The rest of the deck was shockingly empty for such a nice day. Tuesday night I went to a different BBQ hosted by other super close friends in their backyard. We spent hours relaxing and eating and having fun with their 4 year old. Wed I messaged a friend I didn't know that well and we got drinks after work. 3/3 beautiful evenings spent outside with friends! I was happy about this. I don't mean to judge or brag, just share my experience. I'm finding meaningful connection into my 30s, which I'm thankful for because it's really important to me.
- stegosaurus 10y ago
  >> I don't mean to judge or brag It's not necessary to qualify comments like this. :) Sounds like we all need to move to Seattle. Maybe not too many of us though. :P I find myself thinking that there's an economic side to all of this. It might just be that my small hometown was less competitive. London feels like it has some sort of illness by comparison. A place to work, not a place to live.
  - haberman 10y ago
    Interesting! I have met some amazingly awesome people in London who I would totally hang out with if I lived there. But they are musicians, not doctors/lawyers/engineers. When I think about it more, most of my good friends come from my musical circles, not my engineering/technical ones. If I didn't have those musical circles, I wonder if I would be nearly as social. > It's not necessary to qualify comments like this. :) Thanks for being gracious. :) It bent somebody out of shape though -- the comment got downvoted. Doesn't bother me, but I can see how it could rub someone the wrong way.
    - calesce 10y ago
      > When I think about it more, most of my good friends come from my musical circles, not my engineering/technical ones Weird, I've had similar luck. My best friends in high school were all music buddies, and I felt closer to them than any of my friends (both technical or otherwise) I've made since then. Makes me want to move somewhere with a better music scene!
narag 10y ago
I've found that as time goes on, people are far more concerned with doing things by the book, projecting an image, etc. rather than just 'being', enjoying life in the moment, doing things just because. My experience is not like that at all. On the contrary, people I know became less and less concerned with keeping an extended social circle and retreated to family. This retreat in many cases has a lot to do with the refusal to put up with other's annoying behaviour. Family is no peace oasis either, but it's more difficult to defect from it :) I return to my hometown for holidays and see this effect every year. There are still big groups of acquitances, but they're more homogeneus than what they used to be. I believe there's a big pressure when you're young to have a lot of friends and to fit in. When older we become grumpier and less tolerant of neighbour's faults.
- quietplatypus 10y ago
  I would not be surprised if most friendships resulted from pressure to fit in. It's healthy to let those types of people go.
dualogy 10y ago
> You might be able to get one or two people to do something, but it'll probably mean some sort of sanitized commercial experience Well perhaps people would hang around at a bus stop or street corner and just chat bollocks but it's occupied by 16-year olds.. ;)
reledi 10y ago
I've been thinking about this lately and my thoughts resonate with yours. My situation has amplified since moving to London a little over a year ago, where I had no friends or family. I've been wanting to go back to a simpler style of friendships like when we were younger. At the same time I've also missed sports. My solution was to get back into skateboarding. I haven't skated in ten years but you'd be surprised by your muscle memory. I got all the gear and headed to the nearest skatepark and was quickly approached by the local skaters. I met a lot of great people and skated with them all evening. Haven't had so much fun in a while. Can't wait to go back.
quietplatypus 10y ago
That may be true, but I've found that I grew up making mostly the wrong friends, each of whom was more irritating, status obsessed, narcissitic, etc as life went on. Only like 2 people made it through the filter, and I'm making healthier friends these days, but I say the ease of disconnection in modern society is a blessing, not a curse. Shitty people get left alone? Fine with me lol.
EGreg 10y ago
What is the point of all that career advancement if you can't spend time with a social circle you care about? It's a bit like that cartoon... humans sacrifice their health to make $$ and spend $$ to get it all back... humans wish they'd be older and then wish they'd be younger... etc.
enobrev 10y ago
I have some anecdotal perspective to offer in regards to where we tend to hang out when we’re young (reasons vary for us aged folk). One of the big reasons we end up at parks, or bus stops, or 7-11 parking lots, or wherever as teenagers is because we generally don't have the financial or social independence to go anywhere else to enjoy ourselves without the "burden" of adults. At 16, there aren't many places to go with other people your age to just hang out and socialize. You're too young for a bar. Restaurants are expensive. Malls are lame. Maybe a diner, but that's only 4-5 of you at a time, and you'll probably need to order something. And this can be a burden for a diner owner for taking up tables for the cost of 4 cups of coffee an hour. Your parents can go to bars and restaurants and each others houses and socialize. But as a teenager, going to someone's house generally requires the permission of other adults, and so on, which isn’t something you can plan around independently. And in our teenage years, we're generally trying to figure out what this life thing is without the parental supervision. It's difficult to explore independence with our parents within earshot. I saw a lot of this first-hand, even beyond my immediate peers, as a DJ throughout my teenage years. When my peers were looking to hang out, they came to me for options. If I couldn't provide directly, I would generally know who could. It was usually someone's house / apartment whose parents worked 16-20 hours per day (like my mother). My own friends and I would try to rent places out to throw gatherings, and we never had trouble finding people to fill the room. This was all about socializing and having a place to go. We needed these places to go without the pressures of our home lives and adults therein. And when we couldn't find a place, we resorted to waterfronts, parks, street corners, etc. Wherever we could find to just be ourselves with our peers. In college, for the first time for many, we have our own places: our dorms. Add to that more responsibility (for most), and a lack of income (for most), and what better place to hang out with your peers than hopping from dorm-to-dorm? Why go to a park or hang around at a bus stop when you can go one floor down to another dorm? You’re no longer required to go out into the cold to socialize with your peers. In adulthood, there are plenty of places to go, though most of them cost money. So in early adulthood, we enjoy our freedom to go anywhere and just "be". So it's bars, and restaurants, and wherever. We spend what little we make enjoying the newfound freedom to go anywhere. Sure, we _can_ go to the park, be we don't _have_ to go to the park. We can afford to go somewhere else and enjoy each-other's company, much unlike the previous decade.
Sohakes 10y ago
I feel it's like that too. We live to work and forget anything outside it. Maybe a bit off topic, but I like this piece from a cartoon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fy9TsGOswVA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fy9TsGOswVA.
coldtea 10y ago
>I've found that as time goes on, people are far more concerned with (...) projecting an image, etc Compared to teenagers?
alanwatts 10y ago
>The community takes a back seat to economic needs, it seems. Something like that. I'm not sure. This is actually a phenomenon which, according to Karl Polayni's Aristotle Discovers the Economy, roughly began in Greece shortly after the inventions of the alphabet and coinage which helped lay the framework for a more global economic system. Traditionally tribal or "uncivilized" economies produced goods and services primarily for the local consumption of the clan, community, or family. But soon after, production for consumption shifted to production for exchange as such societies became less "tribal" and more "civilized" via increasing literacy and "the market system". With this phenomenon began the shift from the tribal values of family and community over the individual to civilized societies' value of the individual over the community. Aristotle warned that this dynamic would destroy the autonomy and connectedness of the family and community and create a dangerous dependence on foreign goods.

stegosaurus 10y ago

Christ, in some ways, this thread makes me want to just like, teleport some people from HN into the local park with some beers. I think we'd have a great time. No vi vs emacs, mind.

DanBC 10y ago
> eleport some people from HN into the local park with some beers. Park runs are fun (for various values of fun) and probably a good way to meet people.
modarts 10y ago
I'd love to have an HN irl meetup sometime.
- WalterSear 10y ago
  WE COULD SHOUT AT AND DOWNVOTE EACHOTHER DOWN IN PERSON.
  - eru 10y ago
    Only if you have enough karma!
  - atomical 10y ago
    Is dang available to move tables when discussions go off topic?
jfim 10y ago
It's definitely doable. Anyone in SF wants to meet in the golden gate park today around 3pm? Edit: Since this got a few upvotes but not many replies, feel free to come at 37°46'08.4"N 122°29'08.8"W (https://goo.gl/maps/Vvyctgz4CAQ2 https://goo.gl/maps/Vvyctgz4CAQ2). Will have a Linkedin tshirt/backpack.
- trevyn 10y ago
  I would -- one of my residences is in SF -- but I'm actually in Palm Springs at the moment. Success breeds spatial flexibility. Proximity breeds close relationships.
- urs2102 10y ago
  Not in SF, but this is awesome. Hope it's fun!
  - nazka 10y ago
    Same here I can't. I live in France but as soon as I am back in SF I will!
- dempseye 10y ago
  Did anyone come?
iliis 10y ago
I'm in ;) (Even though I probably would spend the time figuring out how the fuck you teleported us across the world.)
compumike 10y ago
We basically used to do this when I lived in San Diego -- a monthly Hacker News meetup organized by email list. It'd start with a ~2 hours at a local non-alcoholic establishment, and then at a set time, whoever wanted would transition to a pub across the street. No agenda or presentation, just a meetup of interesting & like-minded folk. Good times!
jboggan 10y ago
Anyone around "Silicon Beach" come down to Original Muscle Beach in Santa Monica, we'll be down there swinging on the rings and monkey bars all day. Come make friends.
- fmela 10y ago
  Sounds fun! I'll have to join next time.
jsmthrowaway 10y ago
I know most here aren't a fan of the site, but Reddit does this and the meetups are a blast. They're usually geographic or interest-oriented, but there are some bigger ones that inspire travel. You do get the negative you'd expect, but that's the Web in general. Don't go just to get laid (you won't), treat people with respect and it's great. I suspect there would be different problems with this audience, but all manageable. They get pretty fun beyond a critical mass but that usually takes logistics, sponsors, and so on, and you're basically organizing a conference. I think Imgur had sponsors for the last big one and fed everybody the whole time. There's a spectrum. Small and intimate can be good, big and organized and logistical can be good. Sets the tone. Get one or two of the heavyweight names here to talk, toss out some Goat Hill, and you'd draw a crowd.
- encoderer 10y ago
  I think reddit bashers just haven't spent enough time on Reddit. I only read Reddit as a lurker but I have been time and again just delighted at the fractal of subreddits. No matter your curiosity, kink or quirk, there's a small community there for it.

elorant 10y ago

That’s because we’re all possessed with the idea of changing the world. We focus so much on the big picture that we lose track of what’s important in life. We also think that once you get past forties and haven’t done anything important you’re doomed for the rest of your life. We can’t go back to the park again because we take life (and ourselves) too fucking seriously.

ethanbond 10y ago
That's giving people too much credit. 99% of the people here aren't heads down in their study for months trying to complete a masterpiece. People are simply asocial and lazy.
- solotronics 10y ago
  Hey some people just want to watch youtube in their underwear and read hacker news. Not everyone is wired to be Mark Zuckerberg, although if they were the world would be totally hilarious.

nostrademons 10y ago

I've observed the same but interpret it differently. Life gets more differentiated as you get older. You learn what makes you happy and what doesn't, you experience different situations and react to them, and you make decisions about who you're going to be and what you're going to do. And all of that becomes part of your identity. It's part of your accumulated self-knowledge. And part of that is perceiving differences in how you see the world vs. how other people see the world. A banker, a janitor, a nurse, an engineer, and a dropout can all still be friends if they have something in common, and confine their friendship to that thing. I still occasionally get together with my high-school friends, when I happen to be back home, and we've become bankers, janitors, nurses, engineers, and dropouts. But 15 years after graduation, the high school we went to is an increasingly small part of our identities. And it feels constraining to hang out all the time, like you're denying all the other parts of yourself that you've discovered since. It's great to get together for a weekend and reminisce about old times, but it's not something I'd want to do every weekend. The economic aspects are second-order effects. Yes, this tends to stratify people into economic tiers. But the reason for that is that it's hard to do anything for a significant portion of your life without it becoming part of your identity, and it's hard for a skillset to pay off without doing it for a significant portion of your life. And different skillsets are compensated wildly differently, based on supply & demand.

stegosaurus 10y ago
That only explains half of the picture, though. The photograph in the linked article explains it quite well to me - regardless of how 'real' it is, there's a picture of a shiny gathering with the dresses and the shiny clothes and the fancy food, and so on. And there's nothing wrong with that. I love me some good dress-up and the food there looks super yum. But the simple gatherings seem to have disappeared. Outside of family, do people visit just for the sake of visiting anymore? I think it was the unified purpose, the school catchment area, maybe. That proximity. Everyone is everywhere now. My park is not your park, my pub is not your pub, etc.
- WalterBright 10y ago
  I find it tiresome that it becomes hard to just have friends over. Have to negotiate a time, clean the house, get food, and if you're going to a friend's house you're expected to "bring something", etc. Sigh.

trevyn 10y ago

I think it's because mobility is easy in the downward direction -- if the banker and the lawyer chose to become the janitor and the homeless guy, they could do that easily. However, the banker and the lawyer realize that they have more life choices available if they are nearer to top of the hierarchy, and this directly leads to more obligations -- to maintain their positions, they must fulfill more responsibilities. More choice leads to more reproductive success. Q.E.D.

haberman 10y ago

FWIW, my life isn't like this at all. I'm 34 and my friends and I are all professionals. It was gorgeous in Seattle this week. Monday night I went to a BBQ with 7 of my closest friends. We spent hours on the rooftop deck of their apt building relaxing and shooting the shit. The rest of the deck was shockingly empty for such a nice day. Tuesday night I went to a different BBQ hosted by other super close friends in their backyard. We spent hours relaxing and eating and having fun with their 4 year old. Wed I messaged a friend I didn't know that well and we got drinks after work. 3/3 beautiful evenings spent outside with friends! I was happy about this. I don't mean to judge or brag, just share my experience. I'm finding meaningful connection into my 30s, which I'm thankful for because it's really important to me.

stegosaurus 10y ago
>> I don't mean to judge or brag It's not necessary to qualify comments like this. :) Sounds like we all need to move to Seattle. Maybe not too many of us though. :P I find myself thinking that there's an economic side to all of this. It might just be that my small hometown was less competitive. London feels like it has some sort of illness by comparison. A place to work, not a place to live.
- haberman 10y ago
  Interesting! I have met some amazingly awesome people in London who I would totally hang out with if I lived there. But they are musicians, not doctors/lawyers/engineers. When I think about it more, most of my good friends come from my musical circles, not my engineering/technical ones. If I didn't have those musical circles, I wonder if I would be nearly as social. > It's not necessary to qualify comments like this. :) Thanks for being gracious. :) It bent somebody out of shape though -- the comment got downvoted. Doesn't bother me, but I can see how it could rub someone the wrong way.
  - calesce 10y ago
    > When I think about it more, most of my good friends come from my musical circles, not my engineering/technical ones Weird, I've had similar luck. My best friends in high school were all music buddies, and I felt closer to them than any of my friends (both technical or otherwise) I've made since then. Makes me want to move somewhere with a better music scene!

narag 10y ago

I've found that as time goes on, people are far more concerned with doing things by the book, projecting an image, etc. rather than just 'being', enjoying life in the moment, doing things just because. My experience is not like that at all. On the contrary, people I know became less and less concerned with keeping an extended social circle and retreated to family. This retreat in many cases has a lot to do with the refusal to put up with other's annoying behaviour. Family is no peace oasis either, but it's more difficult to defect from it :) I return to my hometown for holidays and see this effect every year. There are still big groups of acquitances, but they're more homogeneus than what they used to be. I believe there's a big pressure when you're young to have a lot of friends and to fit in. When older we become grumpier and less tolerant of neighbour's faults.

quietplatypus 10y ago
I would not be surprised if most friendships resulted from pressure to fit in. It's healthy to let those types of people go.

dualogy 10y ago

> You might be able to get one or two people to do something, but it'll probably mean some sort of sanitized commercial experience Well perhaps people would hang around at a bus stop or street corner and just chat bollocks but it's occupied by 16-year olds.. ;)

reledi 10y ago

I've been thinking about this lately and my thoughts resonate with yours. My situation has amplified since moving to London a little over a year ago, where I had no friends or family. I've been wanting to go back to a simpler style of friendships like when we were younger. At the same time I've also missed sports. My solution was to get back into skateboarding. I haven't skated in ten years but you'd be surprised by your muscle memory. I got all the gear and headed to the nearest skatepark and was quickly approached by the local skaters. I met a lot of great people and skated with them all evening. Haven't had so much fun in a while. Can't wait to go back.

quietplatypus 10y ago

That may be true, but I've found that I grew up making mostly the wrong friends, each of whom was more irritating, status obsessed, narcissitic, etc as life went on. Only like 2 people made it through the filter, and I'm making healthier friends these days, but I say the ease of disconnection in modern society is a blessing, not a curse. Shitty people get left alone? Fine with me lol.

EGreg 10y ago

What is the point of all that career advancement if you can't spend time with a social circle you care about? It's a bit like that cartoon... humans sacrifice their health to make $$ and spend $$ to get it all back... humans wish they'd be older and then wish they'd be younger... etc.

enobrev 10y ago

I have some anecdotal perspective to offer in regards to where we tend to hang out when we’re young (reasons vary for us aged folk). One of the big reasons we end up at parks, or bus stops, or 7-11 parking lots, or wherever as teenagers is because we generally don't have the financial or social independence to go anywhere else to enjoy ourselves without the "burden" of adults. At 16, there aren't many places to go with other people your age to just hang out and socialize. You're too young for a bar. Restaurants are expensive. Malls are lame. Maybe a diner, but that's only 4-5 of you at a time, and you'll probably need to order something. And this can be a burden for a diner owner for taking up tables for the cost of 4 cups of coffee an hour. Your parents can go to bars and restaurants and each others houses and socialize. But as a teenager, going to someone's house generally requires the permission of other adults, and so on, which isn’t something you can plan around independently. And in our teenage years, we're generally trying to figure out what this life thing is without the parental supervision. It's difficult to explore independence with our parents within earshot. I saw a lot of this first-hand, even beyond my immediate peers, as a DJ throughout my teenage years. When my peers were looking to hang out, they came to me for options. If I couldn't provide directly, I would generally know who could. It was usually someone's house / apartment whose parents worked 16-20 hours per day (like my mother). My own friends and I would try to rent places out to throw gatherings, and we never had trouble finding people to fill the room. This was all about socializing and having a place to go. We needed these places to go without the pressures of our home lives and adults therein. And when we couldn't find a place, we resorted to waterfronts, parks, street corners, etc. Wherever we could find to just be ourselves with our peers. In college, for the first time for many, we have our own places: our dorms. Add to that more responsibility (for most), and a lack of income (for most), and what better place to hang out with your peers than hopping from dorm-to-dorm? Why go to a park or hang around at a bus stop when you can go one floor down to another dorm? You’re no longer required to go out into the cold to socialize with your peers. In adulthood, there are plenty of places to go, though most of them cost money. So in early adulthood, we enjoy our freedom to go anywhere and just "be". So it's bars, and restaurants, and wherever. We spend what little we make enjoying the newfound freedom to go anywhere. Sure, we _can_ go to the park, be we don't _have_ to go to the park. We can afford to go somewhere else and enjoy each-other's company, much unlike the previous decade.

Sohakes 10y ago

I feel it's like that too. We live to work and forget anything outside it. Maybe a bit off topic, but I like this piece from a cartoon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fy9TsGOswVA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fy9TsGOswVA.

coldtea 10y ago

>I've found that as time goes on, people are far more concerned with (...) projecting an image, etc Compared to teenagers?

alanwatts 10y ago

>The community takes a back seat to economic needs, it seems. Something like that. I'm not sure. This is actually a phenomenon which, according to Karl Polayni's Aristotle Discovers the Economy, roughly began in Greece shortly after the inventions of the alphabet and coinage which helped lay the framework for a more global economic system. Traditionally tribal or "uncivilized" economies produced goods and services primarily for the local consumption of the clan, community, or family. But soon after, production for consumption shifted to production for exchange as such societies became less "tribal" and more "civilized" via increasing literacy and "the market system". With this phenomenon began the shift from the tribal values of family and community over the individual to civilized societies' value of the individual over the community. Aristotle warned that this dynamic would destroy the autonomy and connectedness of the family and community and create a dangerous dependence on foreign goods.