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Can you pinpoint what it is about US culture that creates the sense of dread and depression for you and your family?

by jonahx 11y ago

DougN7 11y ago
IMHO it's that our goals are not for things that are fulfilling. The "American Dream" is a house, two cars in the garage, a couple of weeks of vacation, money in the bank, looking forward to retirement, clothes, iPhones, etc. None of that brings happiness. Sure, having the necessities is important. But there is very little happiness in a $50K car over the $10K car, but that extra $40K had real costs -- it took a lot of effort, stress, time, etc. So over and over we trade effort, stress, time, etc for things that don't bring happiness. After a while, we're just weary of life. I don't know what the solution is exactly. It definitely revolves around relationships with people. Helping them. Listening to them. Cooking for them. Raising them. That is where fulfillment and joy are found.
- ASinclair 11y ago
  Take that $40k you would have spent on a car and invest it so you can retire earlier. This realization clicked for me when I heard about Financial Independence / Early Retirement. Don't buy fancy possessions, buy time. You can use that time to focus more on your relationships. Mr. Money Mustache comes off as over-the-top but his blog and others like it touch on these themes.
- alexashka 11y ago
  It's individual, isn't it? You've mentioned people - it's about relating with them. The same with everything else - learning to relate to your body as it grows older, to people, to your work/hobbies of choice. The times are changing and the old modes of relating have been shaken up. This can be seen as a blessing or a curse - you definitely have to put in the extra effort to find your way nowadays. On the upside, there's more opportunity than ever to do so. Plus the internet, that helps :)
davesque 11y ago
Not the parent commenter, but I feel it's because our society doesn't value knowledge or scholarship. Whenever I get depressed, I feel it's because I want to spend time learning and discovering but instead I'm forced to race against all the other rats just to have a decent standard of living (and I'm not talking about $50k cars). There's no time or energy left to, say, study differential equations or chemistry or anything that would actually benefit humanity. Instead, I must devote myself to activities that essentially have no value.
- jgrowl 11y ago
  I feel pretty similar. There's so much I want to explore and learn and I want to do it forever. If I'm stuck doing something I hate all week and then I'm too worn out to do anything in my down time I'd rather just not be here. :(

Can you pinpoint what it is about US culture that creates the sense of dread and depression for you and your family?

by jonahx 11y ago

Can you pinpoint what it is about US culture that creates the sense of dread and depression for you and your family?

IMHO it's that our goals are not for things that are fulfilling. The "American Dream" is a house, two cars in the garage, a couple of weeks of vacation, money in the bank, looking forward to retirement, clothes, iPhones, etc. None of that brings happiness. Sure, having the necessities is important. But there is very little happiness in a $50K car over the $10K car, but that extra $40K had real costs -- it took a lot of effort, stress, time, etc. So over and over we trade effort, stress, time, etc for things that don't bring happiness. After a while, we're just weary of life. I don't know what the solution is exactly. It definitely revolves around relationships with people. Helping them. Listening to them. Cooking for them. Raising them. That is where fulfillment and joy are found.

ASinclair 11y ago
Take that $40k you would have spent on a car and invest it so you can retire earlier. This realization clicked for me when I heard about Financial Independence / Early Retirement. Don't buy fancy possessions, buy time. You can use that time to focus more on your relationships. Mr. Money Mustache comes off as over-the-top but his blog and others like it touch on these themes.
alexashka 11y ago
It's individual, isn't it? You've mentioned people - it's about relating with them. The same with everything else - learning to relate to your body as it grows older, to people, to your work/hobbies of choice. The times are changing and the old modes of relating have been shaken up. This can be seen as a blessing or a curse - you definitely have to put in the extra effort to find your way nowadays. On the upside, there's more opportunity than ever to do so. Plus the internet, that helps :)

davesque 11y ago

Not the parent commenter, but I feel it's because our society doesn't value knowledge or scholarship. Whenever I get depressed, I feel it's because I want to spend time learning and discovering but instead I'm forced to race against all the other rats just to have a decent standard of living (and I'm not talking about $50k cars). There's no time or energy left to, say, study differential equations or chemistry or anything that would actually benefit humanity. Instead, I must devote myself to activities that essentially have no value.

jgrowl 11y ago
I feel pretty similar. There's so much I want to explore and learn and I want to do it forever. If I'm stuck doing something I hate all week and then I'm too worn out to do anything in my down time I'd rather just not be here. :(