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I left FB (several times in fact), and I always end up returning. Firstly no-one cares you've gone - most of your 'friends' don't even notice you don't post or

by Jaruzel 11y ago

I left FB (several times in fact), and I always end up returning. Firstly no-one cares you've gone - most of your 'friends' don't even notice you don't post or comment any more. Secondly, no-one contacts you directly either. You end up a social outcast, missing events that only get posted on Facebook. I didn't know some of my friends had had babies until several weeks after the fact, because they only announced on Facebook assuming everyone would see it, and I was on a Facebook hiatus at the time. The most damning thing about the Facebook plague is that it's causing most of it's users to completely forget that other means of communication exists. The friction to send an email to, or god-forbid actually call, your non-Facebook friends is now simply too high that most people no longer do it. Email is now just a place where all those unread eBay and Amazon receipt notifications go. Personally, I know I can walk away from FB any time I choose, however right now the cost of the social disconnect is too high. Maybe the answer is to just accept we have no real friends any more, and just log out.

cbeach 11y ago
Your post sounds a bit like "all the kids are in the playground, but I don't like it, so I sit on my own in the library. The playground sucks and all the other kids are wrong"
- icebraining 11y ago
  It's not a matter of right and wrong, but of values and preferences.
- Jaruzel 11y ago
  If that's your only takeaway from my post, that's fine. Having said that, you have literally just described my school years...
luxpir 11y ago
I'm not convinced, correct me if I'm wrong, that you really missed anything by not knowing about your friends' baby until a few weeks after. A quick explanation: immediate family, you would have known without FB's involvement. Closest friends, same. Wider friends you see less often, maybe might have been mentioned at some point during the pregnancy, you can mark it off on a calendar and guesstimate arrival of baby. Friends you never see who've had a baby? Your definition of friend is stretched very thinly at that point, even if you were once close friends. Knowing/not knowing at that point makes very little difference to your ongoing relationship, particularly if it wasn't mentioned once during the previous 9 months. I agree that email has become a second class citizen to social media sites, despite it being completely open and able to conduct group chats (albeit slightly painfully) for events etc. The only thing many people are waiting for at this point is a suitable replacement for private, widely-used social comms that encourages more human interaction, without the manipulation and monetisation of relationships.
deleted 11y ago
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nucleardog 11y ago
> I didn't know some of my friends had had babies until several weeks after the fact, because they only announced on Facebook assuming everyone would see it, and I was on a Facebook hiatus at the time. Didn't take a "hiatus", just straight up closed my account about eight years ago. People who matter still make the effort, and I find the personalized interaction much more rewarding. I always go back to the example of some friends of mine. They got engaged. Everyone else found out on Facebook. They got that news while they were pooping, sitting on the couch watching TV, etc. I found out a few days later than everyone else... when they told me in person. And I got to be excited with them. And hug her and shake his hand. I like that way better.

by Jaruzel 11y ago

cbeach 11y ago

Your post sounds a bit like "all the kids are in the playground, but I don't like it, so I sit on my own in the library. The playground sucks and all the other kids are wrong"

icebraining 11y ago
It's not a matter of right and wrong, but of values and preferences.
Jaruzel 11y ago
If that's your only takeaway from my post, that's fine. Having said that, you have literally just described my school years...

luxpir 11y ago

I'm not convinced, correct me if I'm wrong, that you really missed anything by not knowing about your friends' baby until a few weeks after. A quick explanation: immediate family, you would have known without FB's involvement. Closest friends, same. Wider friends you see less often, maybe might have been mentioned at some point during the pregnancy, you can mark it off on a calendar and guesstimate arrival of baby. Friends you never see who've had a baby? Your definition of friend is stretched very thinly at that point, even if you were once close friends. Knowing/not knowing at that point makes very little difference to your ongoing relationship, particularly if it wasn't mentioned once during the previous 9 months. I agree that email has become a second class citizen to social media sites, despite it being completely open and able to conduct group chats (albeit slightly painfully) for events etc. The only thing many people are waiting for at this point is a suitable replacement for private, widely-used social comms that encourages more human interaction, without the manipulation and monetisation of relationships.

deleted 11y ago

[deleted]

nucleardog 11y ago

> I didn't know some of my friends had had babies until several weeks after the fact, because they only announced on Facebook assuming everyone would see it, and I was on a Facebook hiatus at the time. Didn't take a "hiatus", just straight up closed my account about eight years ago. People who matter still make the effort, and I find the personalized interaction much more rewarding. I always go back to the example of some friends of mine. They got engaged. Everyone else found out on Facebook. They got that news while they were pooping, sitting on the couch watching TV, etc. I found out a few days later than everyone else... when they told me in person. And I got to be excited with them. And hug her and shake his hand. I like that way better.